


The One Where Jared Can See Dead People

by CaffeinatedMoose



Series: Bangs and Fic Events [5]
Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Psychics/Psionics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jared, Coffee Shops, Cooking, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, Ghosts, Hand Jobs, Karaoke, M/M, Magic, Pagan Gods, Pizza, Polish Mythology, Porn With Plot, Research, Shmoop, Top Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:04:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5831902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinatedMoose/pseuds/CaffeinatedMoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Jared can see dead people, which makes Jensen kinda nervous but intrigued.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2015/2016 Supernatural Reverse Bang, with art by becc_j!  
> Betaed by CastielsStar  
> 

  


 

_Jared was in a forest. Maybe a jungle. It was lush green, with colorful flowers along the path. He lifted his hands, but when he looked down at the old book he was holding, he found that his hands weren’t his own. They were small, thin like a young woman’s. He tried to look down at the rest of himself, but the dream wouldn’t let him. It dragged him along, as if he were only a spectator through someone else’s eyes. He opened the book to a marked page and saw a picture of a golden flower. It was yellow-orange, almost seeming to glow like fire. A passage in an ancient language told him about the flower, and without knowing how he understood, he was reading about its location. He looked up and ahead, and walked through the brush until he came to a clearing._

 

 _A small ring of stones surrounded light-green moss. In the middle was a brightly shimmering flower_ _—_ _the one from his book. The forest started to go silent as he approached the circle. Taking out another book from his bag, he consulted a page covered in symbols_ _—_ _magical and even more ancient. He pulled four white candles from his bag and set them at the edges of the circle, one at each of the cardinal directions. As he placed each down, he spoke an incantation of protection, asking for the guidance of the elements._

 

_The air around the circle darkened. He glanced around quickly before stepping inside it. Kneeling in front of the flower, he began to gently loosen it from the soil. The wind began to blow. Something was coming. He could almost see something dark rushing around the edge of the circle, but he didn’t dare look away. He had to focus on his task. If the thing interrupted him, he would be lost to it. The demon whispered to him about temptation, riches and immortality, and then threats. He carefully transferred the plant to a small box lined with silk, protective symbols carved into the lid, before tucking it into his bag._

 

_The wind was really blowing hard now. His hair flew around his face. He had to run. Backing away, he blew out each candle and put them back in his bag, the protective circle starting to weaken as the magic faded. As the last candle went out, a shadowy creature rushed at him. He stood quickly and ran, the demon at his back. As the shadows began to rush in from both sides and swirl around his legs, he jolted awake._

 

*

 

Jared opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, breathing hard. At first he pulled the blankets up to his chin, but he was much too warm from the intensity of the dream. He kicked the blanket off to the side, tipped his head back and closed his eyes, breathing deeply until his muscles had relaxed.

 

He’d been having the dream for years, ever since he was a kid. It never got past that point, and never made much sense. He had no idea where the forest was, or why the woman in his dream took the flower. And he sure didn’t want to ever come across the shadowy creature that had chased her. He hadn’t seen anything like it or the flower in his research so far.

 

When Jared opened his eyes again, he reached in the dark for his phone. The bright light made him cringe and blink for a moment. The time read a little past six PM. “Crap,” he mumbled. He’d really meant to get up in the afternoon, but he must have slept past his alarm. He would still have time to finish his work, though. The graveyard was lit up at night.

 

Crawling out of bed, he pulled on some fresh boxers and jeans. Jared trudged into the bathroom, rubbing his hands over his face. He pulled a brush through his hair and tied back the front strands to get them out of his eyes. He washed his face before heading down the hall to the kitchen.

 

Before anything else, he turned on his coffee maker. Soon, the rich scent of the coffee filled the kitchen and he was feeling more awake. He got to work making some sandwiches with some chicken and fresh vegetables from the fridge, and packed them into an insulated lunch bag. The coffee was poured into a thermos with a few heaping spoonfuls of cocoa mix. He put them both in his backpack, and after he’d put on his hoodie and his boots, he took off out the door. He’d have to eat while he worked since he was a few hours behind schedule.

 

Jared jogged until he made it to the graveyard and pulled his keys from his pocket. By this time, the graveyard was closed to the general public, but working here had its perks. He had a key to the gate, and he could come and go any time he pleased. It meant he could work in the evening when no one would bother him, which was a blessing, considering the work he did after his paid job.

 

Jared locked the gate behind him and flipped through his keys until he found the one for the maintenance shed. Opening the shed, he piled some flower seedlings, a watering can, a trowel, and some potting soil into a wagon. Lastly, he grabbed a push lawnmower and pulled everything towards the eastern side of the graveyard. Tonight, he would work in this corner, and then he would move to the south for a couple days. By the end of the week, he would have made it around the whole graveyard, and then he’d start over in the north again.

 

He started by mowing the grass, grateful for the quiet repetitive sound of the push mower. The owner of the graveyard had offered him a gas mower to get the job done faster, but Jared hated the loud rumble of them. Besides, he wanted to work at night, and he wouldn’t want to wake people up. When he was halfway finished, he stopped for a break, sitting down near the stone path. He picked up his backpack from where he’d left it on the wagon, and dug in for the thermos of coffee. It was still steaming, but cool enough to drink. He took a long few sips before unwrapping a sandwich from his lunch bag. Setting the thermos in the middle of his crossed legs, he leaned back and rested his free hand in the cool grass.

 

The smell of the fresh cut grass made him smile. He flexed his fingers in the grass, the slight dampness making a few blades stick. Wiping his hand on his jeans, he picked up the coffee again to wash back his sandwich. He screwed on the lid and put it on the wagon next to his bag, and stood to finish the mowing. Whole damn job was just perfect and peaceful.

 

After he’d finished mowing the east corner, he went back over it with a rake, sweeping the cut grass onto a tarp. He bundled it up and tied it to dump by the shed later. Then he pulled the wagon and picked up a tray of seedlings. The graveyard was covered in signs of his gardening tendencies. Many graves had periwinkle flourishing nearby, and along the path were yew bushes with bright red berries. He made sure to leave small signs warning people not to eat them. Most parts of the yew plant are poisonous, but beautiful. Around the edges of the graveyard, bay laurel trees had been growing since he started working here near the end of high school. A few years later some had sprouted up near the top of the fence. Each of the plants had their meanings, and overall the effect was protection and healing for the dead.

 

Jared knelt in front of one of the new graves and dug a small hole for the young periwinkle. He set the plant into the ground and carefully packed dirt around the base. He stood up to fetch the watering can and sprinkled some around the flower. Smiling, he moved to the next grave and so on, watering the flowers he passed, and planting a few more. He then watered the smaller sapling trees that weren’t yet tall enough to subsist on the sparse rain.

 

Pulling the wagon back towards the shed, he began to put everything away. After he rinsed his hands under the water spout out back, he took a seat against the small building to work on his second sandwich. It was nearing ten o’clock. He’d made surprisingly good time. He peeled off his sweatshirt and set it next to his backpack. A shiver ran over him as the cool air hit his sweat-dampened skin. It felt amazing after a good night’s work.

 

Jared sighed as he tipped back the last sip of his lukewarm coffee. He pulled out a water bottle and rinsed his mouth of the bitter aftertaste. Slinging his backpack over one shoulder, he carried his sweatshirt over his arm while he took one more walk around the graveyard, picking up any trash he found on the way.

 

As he knelt to stuff a scrap of paper into a trash bag, a chill ran over him. This felt different from the cold. He glanced around carefully, moving his eyes, but not yet his head. He caught sight of a shadowy figure gliding past the gravestones to his left. Slowly standing, he followed the figure. It was that of a young boy, pale and translucent. It walked through the grave markers as if they weren’t there at all. It was a spirit.

 

“Are you looking for something?” Jared spoke up softly. The spirit turned quickly, wide-eyed. Jared knelt down, hands out, peaceful. “It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you. What’s your name?”

 

The boy looked up at him, expression blank. “Wanna go home. Do you know where my mom went?”

 

Jared frowned and slowly edged closer. “I can help you find her. Can you tell me your name?”

 

The boy looked nervous, eyeing the skull and birds tattooed on Jared’s bare torso, then slowly looking up at his kind eyes. “James Carter. My family lives on Rose Street.”

 

Jared looked down at himself, and draped his sweatshirt over his shoulder before standing and beckoning the boy to follow him. “I’m not as scary as I look. Come on, James, I’ll help you find your family.”

 

James gave a small, shy smile as Jared led him towards the center of the graveyard. The boy’s form shuddered as he passed over a thin ring of silver laid into the courtyard. He looked up and backed away, but was unable to move back over the line. “Hey, that feels weird. Let me out!”

 

Jared shook his head sadly and gestured to the large circle. “I’m sorry, James, but there’s something I need to tell you. You’re a spirit, and you’re trapped in this world. I’m going to help you pass onto the next world where you can reunite with your family.”

 

James didn’t seem to have heard any of it as he started to cry and run around the courtyard, his spirit flickering when he hit the edges of the circle. Jared sighed and walked to the middle, setting his backpack and hoodie down at the base of a large statue. He looked up at the angel, its wings spread wide, hands curled around a long sword. If he stood in just the right spot at the right time of night, the moon behind the angel’s head looked like a silvery halo. He bowed his head for a moment, trying his best to block out the sound of the child’s cries. Then he dug in the front pocket of his backpack, retrieving four candles and a lighter.

 

James ran past him across the circle, sometimes rushing right through him as he set the candles at the edges.

 

He lit each candle in turn, speaking clearly.

 

“I thank the guardians of the Earth, for grounding me.” North. He felt the solid embrace of the earth.

 

“I thank the guardians of the Air, for giving me focus of mind.” East. He felt the cool night air brush over him.

 

“I thank the guardians of Fire, for bringing me energy to succeed.” South. He felt warmth giving him strength.

 

“I thank the guardians of the Water, for cleansing my soul.” West. He felt a refreshing sensation wash over him.

 

Then, he moved back to the center, kneeling to pull a final candle from his bag and lighting it in front of the angel statue.

 

“I thank the goddess Trishna, protector of the dead and their graves, for guiding me.” The air tingled with peaceful energy and Jared breathed in deeply, eyes closing, head tipping back slightly until he could instinctively feel the light of the moon on his face.

 

Then, Jared took a small hardcover notebook from his backpack and shifted cross-legged, turning pages until he found his notes on helping lost spirits. He didn’t want to misspeak.

 

“James Carter,” He started, looking around until he found the child who had gone silent, standing near him to look over his shoulder at the book. Jared smiled softly and patted the ground next to him. James sat, and Jared turned to face him, glancing at his book before holding his hands out, palms up.

 

James’ hands hovered over his, unable to grasp, but almost touching.

 

“James Carter, I release you from all earthly ties to this world. I release you to the afterlife, where you will find peace and happiness, and everything you seek.”

 

James’ form began to shimmer and fade. He smiled at Jared as he disappeared, only a white light drifting skyward. Jared watched the ball of light he couldn’t differentiate it from the stars. He smiled and closed his notebook, then looked up at the angel statue, shifting to face it again.

 

“Thank you.” He laced his fingers together in his lap, eyes closing for a few minutes until his energy had settled. He always felt so at peace under the watch of the angels. This ability of his, seeing the dead and his natural knack for spells had to come from a higher power. It might seem like a curse to some, but it made him happy to do something good, helping lost souls find peace.

 

At last, Jared stood, walking around the edge of the circle to blow out the candles, thanking each element for their protection. He could feel their energy slip away as he put the candles back in his backpack. The last candle, the one for the Goddess, he left burning in front of the angel.

As he picked up his bag, he heard a rustling at the edge of the courtyard. He spun and saw someone running, definitely solid and human as they took care to zigzag between the graves. Jared dropped his backpack and took off, long legs stretching as he leapt over some of the lower grave markers. He dashed down a shortcut between the rows and collided with a man just as he neared the gate. “Hey! What are you doing here? The cemetery is closed. You’re not allowed here this time of night.”

 

The man struggled where Jared had him pinned against the fence, glaring up at him with vivid green eyes. “What am I doing here?!” The man repeated, shoving at Jared while simultaneously reaching behind himself to fiddle with the latch on the gate. He must have jumped the fence, because the panic on his face made it evident that he was now realizing the gate was locked. “What the hell were you doing back there, spouting nonsense about gods and guardians of the east? That some Satan worship or some crap?”

 

Jared sighed and stepped back, reaching in his pocket for his keys and holding them up. “I work here. Keeper of the grounds. But that was a ritual to put a lost spirit to rest. Calm down and move, so I can let you out of the gate.”

 

The man blinked at him, and shuffled out of the way. Jared leaned past him, hesitating with the key in the lock. “Gonna tell me what you were doing in here after the gate was shut? They lock up at sunset.”

 

The man looked at the lock, then back up at him nervously, clearly trying to keep his composure. He was probably itching to get out, thinking Jared would curse him or something. “Just wanted to see my sister. She’s got a plot in here.”

 

Jared turned the key and pulled the gate open, nodding solemnly. “Sorry for your loss. Just… come back earlier next time, okay?”

 

The man nodded once as he hurried out to a sleek black motorcycle parked just in front of the gate.

 

“If you can’t come back in the day time, at least try to get my attention, so I can let you in the gate. Name’s Jared. I’m here most nights,” Jared called out.

 

The guy paused, one hand on the handlebars of his bike. “Jensen. And… thanks.” Then he put on his helmet and climbed onto the motorcycle, revving the engine before driving down the road.

 

Jared shut and locked the gate behind him, turning to gather his bag and his sweatshirt. He’d dealt with a lot of fence-jumping troublemakers while he worked here, but usually they were just here to drink or smoke, or on dares from friends to stay the night in the spooky graveyard. That guy. Jensen. He was different. Kind of felt bad for him. There had been a wild look in his eyes when Jared had him pinned, something between panic and anger, but it had softened to grief when he admitted his reason for sneaking in. Poor guy probably just worked in the day time and couldn’t visit his sister’s grave until late. Jared wished the guy had given a last name, so he could have looked for the grave and paid his respects.

 

Hoodie on and backpack on his shoulders, Jared checked each of the gates on the way out, before starting the walk home.

 

``

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jared's dream based loosely on a Polish legend about mythical fire flowers. 
> 
> And yeah, the title is a Friends reference.


	2. Chapter 2

Jensen floored the accelerator all the way home. He was probably driving well over the speed limit. He had to get away, had to put as much distance between himself and that crazy at the graveyard. Sure he’d been nice enough to let Jensen off with a warning, but the guy had still been into some weird stuff back there.

 

Jared. That was his name.

 

When Jared had him pinned against the fence, he’d been scared for his life that Jared might curse him or something. He’d seen too much. He’d seen the candles, and the old-as-dirt books. He’d heard the chanting. Whoever Jared was talking to, it couldn’t be good. He wasn’t sure he believed one word of Jared’s explanation. Something about putting the dead to rest. Anything to do with magic and spells had to come with a price. Probably bleeding himself or sacrificing rabbits to the Devil. That is, if it wasn’t total bullshit.

 

Whatever. Jensen would just have to come earlier before Jared got there.

 

Jensen slowed to a halt in front of his apartment building. He turned his bike off and removed his helmet. Once inside, he dropped his helmet by the door and tossed his jacket over the back of the couch. Kicking off his boots, he hurried down the hall, peeling off his uncomfortable jeans before flopping face down onto his bed.

 

He really wasn’t sure what to think of Jared. The fact that Jared had been shirtless, fairly muscular and had that weirdass tattoo also had him wondering just what kind of guy he was. Jensen scooted up his bed until he found a comfortable spot and laid his head on the pillow.

 

If Jared really had the ability to help the dead, maybe he could help find Jensen’s sister. Maybe he could bring Mackenzie back. It was a terrifying thought, messing with probably black magic and resurrection, but he missed her. His whole family did. She’d been killed in a car accident long before her time, when they were just kids. He never thought that there might be a way to bring her back.

 

Jensen stared off into the darkness of his bedroom, thinking about what it might be like for his family to be whole again until he fell asleep from exhaustion.

 

*

 

The next night, Jensen went back to the graveyard, with a large thermos of hot cocoa. He waited by the side gate, watching Jared from a distance, waiting to see what he was up to tonight. So far he was just pulling that wagon of his around, raking and mowing and planting flowers, same as he had the previous night. Before he started the witchcraft stuff later on. Jensen didn’t know what to call it. Didn’t know what it was.

 

When Jared approached the side of the graveyard nearest him, Jensen waved and called out to him.

 

“How’s work tonight?”

 

Jared looked up, startled, and frowned. “Thought I told you to come back earlier.”

 

Jensen grinned nervously and held up his thermos. “Peace offering? I’m here to listen. I want to know more about what you do. What I saw last night.”

 

Jared sighed and brushed the dirt off his hands, pulling his keys out of his pocket as he walked over to the fence and unlocked the gate. Jensen followed him inside, and squatted down to look at the purple flowers Jared was planting near a grave. “You really like these flowers, huh? They’re everywhere.”

 

Jared pressed some dirt gently around the flower before pulling another seedling from his wagon and moving over to plant it at the next grave. “Periwinkle. They represent immortality of the soul. They protect the souls of those who have died, help them move on to the next life.” After the flower was safely rooted in the soil, Jared brushed off his hands again and he glanced curiously at the thermos Jensen had brought.

 

Jensen held it out. Jared took the thermos and unscrewed the lid, sniffing the contents before taking a sip. He smiled at Jensen. “Not as caffeinated as I would have liked, but thank you.”

 

Jensen shrugged. “Just thought it might keep you warm.” He nodded his head towards the periwinkle flowers. “That’s really nice of you to do that. Owners of this place probably just expect you to pick up the trash.”

 

Jared took another long sip before screwing the lid on and setting it on the wagon. He picked up his watering can and gave each of the new flowers a generous watering. “So, what do you want to know?”

 

Jensen frowned and stood up as Jared pulled the wagon towards another section of the graveyard. “What were you doing last night?”

 

While Jared started sweeping some leaves and dirt off the path, Jensen followed along, waiting for an answer. Jared didn’t look up as he spoke. “Told you. I was helping put a spirit to rest.”

 

“But, how?” Jensen questioned. He gestured for the dust pan, and held it as Jared swept the dead leaves into it. Maybe if he helped, Jared would be more likely to open up.

 

“A spell. Or, really, a ritual. I can help guide spirits trapped in this world onto the next life with a little help from the gods.” Jared held a trash bag open, and Jensen dumped the leaves and garbage into it. “It’s all about the right wording.”

 

Jensen handed the dustpan back when they reached the end of the path. Jared started pulling the wagon back towards the shed by the front gate, but Jensen paused in front of one particular grave. Jared looked back to see Jensen kneeling down. He doubled back and leaned down to look at the grave marker, which read _Mackenzie Ackles_. “I never planted any flowers here, because someone was always bringing fresh flowers. Is this your sister?”

 

Jensen breathed in deeply, letting out a slow sigh, nodding. He pointed to the last few periwinkle flowers sitting in the wagon. Jared lifted one out and handed his trowel to Jensen, watching as he dug a small hole and planted the flower. When he stood up, he took the watering can and sprinkled some water onto the dirt surrounding it. “Thanks.”

 

Jared nodded as he put the watering can back. “Sorry about your sister.”

 

Jensen shrugged and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket, following Jared back towards the shed. “It was a while ago, when we were kids.”

 

Jensen didn’t seem like he was going to talk about his sister and Jared didn’t want to ask.

 

After he’d put the wagon and everything back in the shed, Jared led the way to the gate. “Didn’t have a lot to do today.” Jared would be heading home soon.

 

Jensen nodded and followed him to the gate. He paused as they neared it, turning back towards Jared. “Think you could teach me more about those spells another time?” What he wanted to ask was if he could see Jared again, that maybe he was curious more about Jared himself.

 

Jared held the gate open, and locked it behind Jensen. “I have the day off tomorrow. Want to meet me here around six? I have a ton of books back at my place I could show you. And I can give you this back to you then, if that’s alright?” He held the thermos between his hands, taking another slow sip to warm himself before he headed home.

 

Jensen smiled as he put on his helmet, climbing astride his motorcycle. “Yeah. If you order food, I’ll be here. Six PM.” If it meant getting to know more about Jared, he’d let him keep the thermos forever.

 

*

 

At six PM, Jared was waiting outside the gate of the cemetery, holding the empty thermos, cleaned and dried.

 

Six-oh-five, he could hear the rumble of Jensen’s motorcycle. Jensen cut the engine and pushed up the visor on his helmet, grinning at Jared. “You know, you could have given me your address, so I could just meet you at your house.”

 

“My place isn’t far. Besides, I wanted to make sure you’d show.” Jared glanced at the motorcycle, where a second helmet was strapped to the back. “You were planning this. You didn’t ask on purpose.”

 

Jensen shrugged and took off his helmet, offering it to Jared. “What kind of man would I be if I made you walk?” Then he buckled on the older helmet, waiting for Jared to put on his sturdier one. He patted the back of the seat.

 

Jared rolled his eyes and combed his hair back into a low ponytail, some strands escaping in the front to frame his face before pulling on the helmet. He stared at the bike for a moment, trying to figure out how to get his long leg slung over it without losing his balance. Despite being tall, the bike was a little higher up than he’d expected.

 

Jensen was watching him, an amused grin on his face. He held out a hand, which Jared swatted away. Jensen chuckled and pointed to the pegs a couple feet behind the ones his boots rested on. “Hold onto the seat for balance, and put your left foot there. See, not so bad,” he said as Jared awkwardly climbed up behind him. “Hands around my waist. Hold on.”

 

Jared put the visor down before hesitantly wrapping his arms around Jensen. He handed the thermos to Jensen, who tucked it into one of the hard-shell saddlebags on either side of the bike.

 

“Hold on tighter or you’ll fall off!” Jensen called back to him, but Jared barely heard as the engine rumbled to life.

 

He tried to ask, but then the bike was speeding off onto the road. Jared clung tighter, lacing his fingers together with a yelp. Hanging on with one arm, he lifted the visor up again when he heard Jensen’s muffled voice. “What?”

 

Jensen turned slightly as he slowed at the intersection. “Said, where to?”

 

Jared leaned forward, replacing his arms around Jensen’s waist. “Left here. Three blocks down and then take a right. Second apartment building on that street, left side.”

 

Jensen nodded and turned back to the road, pushing the gas as he took the turn sharply. He chuckled as he heard Jared yelp and felt him cling tighter. A few blocks down, he looked both ways before turning sharply to the right. As a bigger building came up on the left, he glanced back, and then swerved into the parking lot.

 

“In front of 105,” Jared shouted.

 

Jensen nodded and pulled up in front of apartment one-oh-five. He took off his helmet and turned to check on Jared, who was still holding tightly to him. “We’re here.”

 

Jared slowly unclamped his grip around Jensen. “Right. Sorry.” He handed the helmet back as he climbed off the motorcycle, stumbling a few steps. Jensen’s hand was immediately at his elbow, steadying him. Jared felt his face flush as he found his balance. Jensen let go and took the helmet from him, tying the older one down to the bike seat before locking the tires. He carried his good helmet under his arm.

 

“Third floor,” Jared muttered as he led the way up the stairs. He unlocked the door and stepped inside, bee-lining for his bedroom. “Back in a minute. Make yourself comfortable. There’s stuff in the kitchen we can cook, or we can order in. And uh, beer in the fridge.”

 

Jensen nodded and set his helmet and jacket down, looking around the spacious apartment as he searched for a kitchen. The first thing he noticed was that one wall was covered in a large bookshelf. And that the place reeked of incense. Not that it was a bad smell. It was just strong. Very hippie-like. Upon closer inspection, he found that a lot of the books more mostly normal novels. Only the top shelf housed new-age books about spell work and herbs, and spiritual healing. Jensen continued around the room slowly before making his way into the kitchen. The place looked a lot more normal than he expected.

 

Jensen was nosily reading the calendar on the fridge when Jared returned a few minutes later, his sweatshirt gone and replaced with a comfortable t-shirt. “Beer’s INSIDE the fridge.”

 

Jensen pulled back, looking anywhere but at the sticky notes he had been trying to decipher. Anything to get a hint at who Jared was. He moved aside when Jared stepped closer and pulled the fridge door open, leaning in to pull out two beers. He handed one to Jensen. “So, what do you feel like eating?”

 

Jensen used the bottom of his shirt to grip the beer cap as he twisted it off, setting the cap on the counter. “Pizza? I never say no to delivery.”

 

Jared took a sip of his beer, gathering both bottle caps and tossing them in the trash. “Delivery? I can MAKE pizza. Way better than delivery pizza.”

 

Jensen’s eyes widened and he folded one arm over his chest while he drank. “Oh really? I pretty much grew up on delivery pizza. I know all the good places. Impress me.”

 

Jared set down his bottle on the counter while he started pulling ingredients from the cupboards. He began dumping flour, sugar, salt and yeast into a bowl. He added some water, and once everything was mixed, he added a dash of olive oil, gathering the dough into a compact ball and covering it with a towel to rise. “Sit tight, I’ll make you my favorite and you won’t know what hit your taste buds.”

 

Jensen shrugged and sat down on a bar stool near the counter to watch Jared cook. “Can’t say I’m not impressed by a man who can take control in the kitchen.”

 

Jared pulled open the fridge again, ducking down to avoid showing his face, which was likely reddening again.

 

“Sorry. If you’re not…” Jensen started from across the kitchen.

 

“No, no.” Jared shot back as he peeked over the top of the fridge door. “It’s fine. I’m gay. I’m not shy about it. Just didn’t expect you to be. Tough looking guy with a motorcycle.” He brought some meat, veggies and cheese over to the counter nearest the stove and started dicing up ingredients, tossing the cut up pork into a frying pan with some barbecue sauce and garlic.

 

“You’re half right. Bisexual.” Jensen said, much closer now. “Can I help? I know enough to know how to cut up veggies. Don’t want you doing all the work.”

 

Jared nodded and handed him a knife and the green pepper. “Nice to know. So, what do you do in your spare time?” He pushed the pork around in the pan until it had cooked enough to start crumbling apart. He scooped it out into a bowl and started cutting up half an onion, tossing it quickly in the pan and rinsing the knife before the smell could get to their eyes too much.

 

“I manage a coffee shop next town over. My dad used to own it, but now my brother Josh and I run the place.” Jensen finished chopping the pepper and added it to the pan, setting the knife down and reaching for the barbecue pork. He managed to sneak one bite before Jared could swat his hand with the spatula on the second try. “Hey!”

 

Jared shook his head and nudged him away. “Coffee, huh? Why didn’t you bring me coffee, then?”

 

Jensen took his seat again, licking the barbecue sauce from his fingers. “Don’t actually have any around the house. Can’t stand the stuff after working with it all day.”

 

“Blasphemy!” Jared glared at him while he stirred the peppers and onions until partly sautéed. After scooping them into another bowl, he turned off the stove and uncovered the pizza dough. He poured some olive oil on his hands before lifting the dough out. After sprinkling some flour on the counter, he began to stretch the dough out into a long, oval shape. “I pretty much live on coffee, if you hadn’t noticed yet.” He spread tomato sauce onto the crust, and sprinkled mozzarella cheese over top. Then he crumbled the pork evenly over it, followed by the onions and peppers. When he opened a small tub of goat cheese, Jensen spoke up again.

 

“Goat cheese? Put that on your side, but not mine.”

 

“Ever tried it? It’s just tangier and crumblier. Melts like regular cheese just fine.” Jared paused to eye Jensen, hands hovering over the second half of the pizza. “Have to have it with barbecue pork.”

 

“Well, no but—” Jensen started.

 

“Then it’s settled, you’re trying it.” And he crumbled the goat cheese over the entire pizza. He drizzled on some barbecue sauce over the pizza before throwing some more mozzarella cheese on top. “I swear, it really makes the pizza.”

 

“Fine, but if it’s gross, I’m ordering in.” Jensen pouted before tipping back the rest of his beer.

 

Jared looked up when he heard the empty bottle hit the counter. He reached for his beer, taking a few long sips. He waited a moment for it to settle before finishing off the rest. He didn’t want Jensen to get ahead of him and get drunk first. “More in the fridge if you want.”

 

While Jensen pulled out a couple more beers for them, Jared lined a baking sheet with parchment paper and lifted the pizza onto it. He turned on the oven, and washed the flour and oil off his hands while he waited for the oven to heat up. He cracked open the second beer and tipped it back, drinking half before setting it down. It clinked down on the counter a little harder than he had intended, because Jensen raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Don’t tell me the beer’s hitting you already.”

 

Jared put the pizza in the oven and set a timer for twenty minutes. “Course not. I may be skinny, but I’m not that much of a lightweight.”

 

“Almost seems like you’re aiming to get drunk, though. Beer and a half down before we’ve even eaten.” Jensen remarked with a grin before he swigged back a good third of his beer in a few gulps. He took one more sip. “I better catch up, so you’re not the only one embarrassing themselves.”

 

With the pizza out of the way, Jared put the pan and the knives in the sink and wiped down the counter quickly before gesturing for Jensen to follow him out of the kitchen. “Think you can out-drink me? We’ll see about that.”

 

Jared took a seat on the couch, Jensen following and flopping down next to him. “So, tell me about you. Already told you what I do.”

 

Jared rested back against the couch. “Been working at the graveyard for a few years, since late high school. Got a younger sister and an older brother. They’re at home with my dad. Mom passed away when I was too young to remember.”

 

“Boyfriend?” Jensen asked boldly.

 

Jared nearly choked on his beer. “Nah, single. You?”

 

Jensen shook his head. “No one currently. Not in a while. Pretty busy with running the coffee shop.”

 

Jared wiped a bit of moisture from his mouth with the back of his hand before staring down at the bottle. “I’ve never actually been… serious, with anyone. Not much luck once they see this.” He gestured at the huge bookshelf, then some incense and crystals on another shelf. “Kinda gave up. Surprised you’re still here.”

 

Jensen followed Jared’s gaze, then smiled at him. “Well, you haven’t hexed me yet. Unless there’s something you put in the pizza when I wasn’t looking.”

 

Jared shook his head. “Course not. And well, there’s one other reason why I don’t really try too hard to get close to anyone. Helps with those spells at the graveyard.”

 

Jensen rested his bottle on his knee, curiously waiting.

 

Jared frowned before finally sputtering out quickly, “I can see dead people. Ghosts. Lost spirits.”

 

“Huh,” was all Jensen said for a moment.

 

“Weird, I know. Been seeing them most of my life. I just… thought that maybe I could help them. Started doing some research in high school.” Jared sipped at his beer between sentences, and before he noticed, it was gone. He shifted the bottle between his hands, rolling it back and forth. “Learned on my own about rituals and spells for protection, blessings, stuff like that. Then I later discovered ways I could help them. Put them to rest. Asked for the job at the graveyard since a lot of the ghosts hang around their bodies if they don’t know where to go.”

 

Jared was rambling by now. And when he stopped, leaning forward to put his empty bottle on the coffee table, his head was already starting to spin. Maybe two beers on an empty stomach wasn’t a good idea. The bottle clinked down on the solid wood table, and would have nearly fallen over if he hadn’t caught it with both hands. He slowly let go, watching the bottle as he leaned back again.

 

Jensen nodded slowly, listening. The fact that Jared could see the spirits made him even more curious. He really wanted to know if Jared had ever tried bringing someone back, if it was possible. It just didn’t seem like a good idea to ask. Jared would probably tell him it was a bad idea. Maybe if he could get Jared to teach him a few things, he could look up how to do it on his own. He frowned and pulled out his phone, flipping through some photos until he found a picture of his sister. He turned it towards Jared. “Ever see her? That’s Mackenzie, my sister, right before she died.”

 

Jared slowly shook his head. “Sorry, I haven’t. Hopefully she’s passed on and not wandering around town. How’d she die? Sometimes that’ll tell if they were likely to pass on to the next world or not.”

 

“Hit by a drunk driver. She was walking home from a friend’s house. The guy came out of nowhere, swerved up onto the sidewalk. She was gone before she even hit the ground.” Jensen sighed and tipped back the rest of his beer, setting the bottle on the table before folding his hands in his lap.

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Jensen. Least it was a relatively painless then, yeah?” Jared reached out and quickly covered Jensen’s hands with his own.

 

Jensen shrugged, expression bitter. “Guess so. Would have liked to say goodbye, but the medics had already announced her dead when my dad got the call.” He stared blankly at where Jared’s large hands touched his, then slowly up towards Jared.

 

Jared nodded solemnly, his eyes meeting Jensen’s. He leaned forward, hand shifting up to Jensen’s forearm. Jensen was staring back at him, beautiful green eyes sad and longing. Jared wanted to do something to make that broken look go away.

 

Their gaze was interrupted by the loud beeping of the timer for the pizza. Both jumped apart, Jared stumbling to his feet and weaving back towards the kitchen. Jensen, having noticed how much Jared was wobbling, stood slowly and followed him into the kitchen. “Hey, let me get it. You’ll burn yourself.” When Jensen took a few steps, he found that his head was also spinning a little, but seemingly not as much as Jared’s. He hurried to get past Jared, holding one hand out when he went to reach for the oven. He grabbed some oven mitts off the wall near the stove and opened the oven, leaning back to let out the wave of heat before reaching in to lift the pizza out.

 

His mouth began to water. He grabbed the spatula from the sink and lifted one side, peeking under to see that the crust was perfectly cooked, crispy on the bottom and the top evenly. “Holy crap, this smells good. Hope it tastes as good as it smells.”

 

Jared was already holding up a pizza cutting wheel, his free hand on the counter to steady himself. Jensen took the cutter from him and sliced the pizza into ten semi-rectangular pieces before transferring a few pieces each to a couple of plates. He grabbed a handful of napkins and turned to see that Jared had disappeared back into the other room. When he came around the corner, Jared was cracking open another couple beers for them.

 

“Just to wash it down,” Jared explained.

 

Jensen rolled his eyes and set down the plates on the coffee table. Jared set the beers down carefully, and watched Jensen, waiting for him to take his first bite. Jensen picked up a piece of the pizza, supporting the bottom with a napkin. When he bit down, the taste was like nothing like he expected. The tangy goat cheese went amazingly well with the sweet, smoky barbecue sauce, and the peppers added a fresh taste to it. “Oh my god,” He mumbled through a mouthful, then he chewed, and took another bite, and another. He had finished his first piece before Jared started on his, grinning at his reaction.

 

“See? Told you it was good!” Jared dug into his pizza, sipping at his beer excitedly between bites.

 

“Good? It’s amazing. Okay, you win. Way better than delivery.” Jensen was starting on his second slice, eating most of it before he stopped to drink. He sat back to let the pizza settle for a few minutes, smiling as he drank lazily. Even with the pizza starting to soak up the alcohol, it was still sinking into his blood stream more and more by the minute. Much more quickly than he’d realized. He glanced over at Jared, grinning goofily. “You’re a damn good cook.”

 

Jared was focusing on eating his pizza, content in the simple act. He peeked up from his mouthful of pizza, and swallowed slowly, face starting to flush pink under the praise. His hair had started to fall out of its messy ponytail, wavy strands falling around his face. He gave Jensen a shy smile. “Aww, thanks. Glad you liked it after all.”

 

Jensen nodded and wiped his fingers on a napkin, then washed down another bite with his beer. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he was starting to find Jared really damn cute. He was talented and smart, and that messy hair and pink face was incredibly endearing, like a shy puppy. A big puppy. He reached out between them and combed a strand of Jared’s hair behind his ear, the heel of his palm brushing over Jared’s cheek. He could feel how warm Jared’s face was as a result of the alcohol.

 

Then he leaned forward, and pressed his mouth to Jared’s, a soft sigh escaping. His mouth moved gently, and as Jared returned the kisses, he slid his hands into Jared’s hair, loosening it from the ponytail. He raked his fingers gently through the long silky waves, easing a soft moan from the taller man. He felt Jared’s hands clutching at his shirt, and his pink tongue flicking out to lick into Jensen’s mouth.

 

Jared’s hands slid up to his shoulders and curled around the back of his neck, his mouth getting more fiery and needy. Jensen slid closer, their thighs pressing together. Jared pulled away for a moment, and Jensen took a moment to breathe. Then his mouth was assaulted again. Jared was moving, shifting up on his knees and throwing a leg over Jensen’s lap, straddling him. All of that tall, muscular body was on top of Jensen, and the way he curled forwards, hands gripping his face gently, Jensen felt like he was completely enveloped. Jared’s movements switched between hesitant and then enthusiastic each time he moved closer, unsure of how far he wanted to go. His kisses were wet and sloppy, but made Jensen feel like he was being burned alive in the best way, so thirsty for more.

 

Jensen arched upward, and as soon as their hips met, Jared froze. He slowly pulled away, mouths hovering barely an inch apart, before he ducked his head and buried it against Jensen’s neck, silent for a moment as they caught their breath.

 

“Sorry,” Jared murmured, voice heated and rough, breath hot on Jensen’s neck, “Got kind of… carried away.” He carefully disentangled himself, slowly slipping away, and shifting off to his own side of the couch. His hand lingered on Jensen’s shoulder, hesitant to lose contact.

 

Jensen tipped his head back against the couch, breathing deeply and letting out a quick whoosh of a sigh. He smiled lazily over at where Jared was meekly peeking at him through ruffled hair. When their eyes met, Jared quickly smoothed his hair back from his face. Jensen reached out and covered Jared’s hand with his own. “Hey, it was nice.” He squeezed Jared’s hand before slowly releasing it and letting his palm trail down Jared’s neck and back, before pulling him close. Jared wriggled down a bit so that he could comfortably lay his head on Jensen’s shoulder. He sighed contently as Jensen’s fingers ran through his hair, massaging his scalp gently. His head was still spinning, but he was calm and happy.

 

Jared slowly closed his eyes, and when he opened them, it was to someone gently shaking him awake. He blinked slowly. He was slumped against something warm and firm. He looked up and for a second was unable to focus, his vision still spinning. He frowned and sat up, rubbing his face.

 

“It’s okay, you weren’t out for long. My arm was just falling asleep.”

 

Jared blinked his vision clear and found Jensen smiling at him. He nodded, with a mumbled apology. Jensen stretched his arms over his head then pulled out his phone to check the time. “Mm, getting late. I should head out. Early shift tomorrow.”

 

Jared frowned. “If I’m still spinning, you’re probably still drunk, too. You can’t drive like that.”

 

Jensen waved him off and went to stand, but he flopped back on the couch, hands reaching out for balance. “You… may be right.”

 

Jared chuckled. “Stay here. You can stay on the couch.” He staggered to his feet and wandered off down the hall, returning with a blanket and a pillow. He tossed them at the end of the couch. Jensen smiled and unfolded the blanket, stretching out on the small couch. “Thanks.” As he heard Jared’s footsteps down the hall, he called out, “Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight,” Jared returned sleepily.


	3. Chapter 3

When Jared woke, it was early afternoon. He crawled out of bed and wandered down the hall. Jensen was gone. The blanket was folded neatly, with the pillow next to it, and a note on top.

 

 

_Thanks for the pizza._

_Would really like to see you again._

 

_Call me?_

_582-587-4286_

 

_-Jensen_

 

 

Jared smiled and went back to his room, grabbing his phone from the nightstand. He sat on the edge of the bed while he entered Jensen’s number into his phone. He sent off a quick text.

 

_Hey, it’s Jared. You free tomorrow?_

 

He barely had time to set his phone down before a response came back.

 

_When and where?_

 

Jared grinned wider and carried his phone into the kitchen, working on a response while he walked.

 

_Want to come over? Can show you some of my books. Teach you a few things. Same time?_

 

He turned on his coffee maker before pouring a bowl of granola, and sat down at the table to eat. His phone vibrated again.

 

_Maybe late afternoon? I usually work early. Too bad our work schedules are opposite._

 

Jared shoveled a spoonful of granola his mouth before hurriedly typing back a response.

 

_Four?_

 

_Sure. Call me later if you get bored at work?_

 

_Yeah, I will. Looking forward to seeing you again!_

 

When no response came back after that, Jared went back to eating. The coffee maker beeped, and he poured himself a much needed cup. He hadn’t noticed it until now, but his head was spinning just a little. Not a major hangover—nothing some coffee and a shower wouldn’t fix.

 

After he’d downed the coffee and cereal, he set his dishes in the sink to deal with later, and wandered off down the hall to gather up a towel and some clean clothes.

 

*

 

Jensen knocked on the door at four-oh-seven. Jared opened the door, looking a little surprised and tired. He wore a loose t-shirt and sweatpants, with an apron over top. The dark blue apron had flour and crumbs down the front, maybe some cinnamon, too, by the smell of the house.

 

“Oh, hey, was just baking an apple crumble. The kitchen’s a bit of a mess.”

 

Jensen grinned, taking a look over the mess on Jared’s apron, flour and cinnamon all the way up to his face. Jared’s hair was tied up on top of his head in a ponytail.

 

“You bake, you cook. What else can you do?”

 

Jared stepped back to let him inside, and once the door was closed, Jensen was crowding close into his space. He pulled the ponytail from Jared’s hair, watching his hair tumble down around his face in waves. “You look really cute with your hair down,” he murmured, fingers raking through it as he leaned up and pressed a kiss firmly to Jared’s lips. For a split second, Jared tensed up in surprise, but then he melted and draped his arms lazily around Jensen’s shoulders, pulling him in closer to kiss him deeply.

 

When they broke apart, Jared was panting softly, eyes half-lidded. He pulled Jensen against his chest, hands sliding down around his middle to hug him. “I’ve been told I’m a pretty good kisser.”

 

Jensen chuckled low, nodding against him. “Hope you didn’t mind. We were drunk the other night, but now that I know you’re available, gonna take every chance I get to taste you again.” He slowly pulled away, sniffing the air, but his gaze didn’t leave Jared’s eyes. “You taste like apples and cinnamon.”

 

“Do I look like I mind?” Jared smiled down at him, his grip loosening to let Jensen pull free. He ducked down to plant another kiss on Jensen’s lips before his hands dropped. “Wanna see the apple crumble? It’s almost done in the oven.”

 

Jensen nodded quickly and headed for the kitchen, Jared following close behind him. He stopped in front of the oven, both hands curled above his eyes to shield the glare as he peeked in the tiny oven window. He felt Jared’s hand on his shoulder and stepped back.

 

Jared slowly opened the oven a crack, his hand staying put until the steam had escaped. Then he let go, and Jensen leaned closer, breathing deeply the scent of the crumb topping and baking apples, and cinnamon and brown sugar and butter. The noise he made was nearly pornographic. “Holy crap, it smells good. Can’t wait to try some.”

 

“Who said it was for you?” Jared teased as he shut the oven. When Jensen looked up with a panicked and hurt expression, Jared laughed. “Of course it’s for you, calm down.”

 

Jensen glared at him childishly. “Well, you could have been baking it for… a sick grandmother or something.”

 

“Nah, my grandparents live too far away. You want something to drink? Juice, milk, tea? We drank all the beer last time.”

 

Jensen smirked at the thought of last time they’d been together. “Tea sounds nice. What do you have?”

 

Jared opened a small cupboard above the stove that was stocked mostly with coffee, and a small assortment of tea. He pulled down a small bag, unrolling the top and sniffing it, then holding it out to Jensen. “Just bought this strawberry green tea that I’ve been meaning to try. If not that, I’ve got regular green, earl grey, chai.”

 

Jensen leaned in to sniff the tea. “Wow, that smells nice. Sweet, but refreshing. I’ll take it.”

 

Jared nodded and brought down the teapot, spooning some loose tea into the filter insert. He filled an electric kettle and plugged it in next to the sink. The timer went off for the oven, and Jared turned, but Jensen already had the oven mitts on, waiting. He hit the timer with his gloved hand, but missed the button due to the puffy mitts. Jared chuckled and pushed the button for him.

 

“Thanks,” Jensen said as he opened the oven, leaning back to let out the heat before taking the pan out and setting it on top of the stove. He took off the oven mitts, and turned off the oven, then leaned forward over the pan of bubbling apples and toasted crumb topping, breathing deeply. “Smells so damn good.”

 

Jared stood next to him, grinning proudly. “It’s got to cool for ten minutes or so. You can have some soon.” He walked away to unplug the now-whistling kettle and poured boiling water into the teapot. When he glanced back, Jensen was still hovering impatiently over the hot apple crumble. “Go sit down. I’ll cut it up and bring you some.” He shooed Jensen out of the kitchen, then took off his apron, draping it over the handle on the oven. He started cutting the dessert with a large knife and carefully scooped out two pieces onto plates, the steam billowing from the still-bubbling apples. He put spoons on the plates and carried them out to the coffee table.

 

“Don’t touch. I’ll be right back.”

 

Jensen pouted grumpily, arms folded over his chest, but stayed put when Jared went back to get the tea. He put a small bowl of sugar, a pitcher of milk and two mugs on a tray, carrying it and the teapot into the living room. He set everything on the coffee table and took a seat.

 

Jensen had one finger in his mouth, a pained expression clear on his face. When he glanced up, he quickly pulled his finger away, composing himself.

 

Jared let out a low snort. “Did you burn yourself? I told you not to touch it. Its like bubbling apple lava!”

 

Jensen didn’t bother shaking his head in denial, just glared as the steaming apples and crumbly bits oozed on the plate. Jared took his hand, and Jensen looked up, raising an eyebrow as Jared turned it over, inspecting his fingertip where it was red from trying to scoop up some of the apple filling. Jared kissed his finger, then released his hand.

 

Jensen wasn’t really sure what to make of the whole scene. It made him feel babied, but it was his own fault that he touched the dessert before it was cool. Jared taking care of him was also kind of cute.

 

“Better?” Jared asked him, leaning to pour some tea into both of the mugs. He added a spoonful of sugar to his, stirring, and then setting his spoon aside to let the tea start to cool.

 

Jensen shrugged. “I’m fine. Yeah. Thanks.” He spooned some sugar into his own tea, and poured in some milk, not wanting a repeat of trying to eat or drink things that were too hot. “You don’t like milk in yours?”

 

“Nope, don’t want to dilute the flavor. I put milk in black teas, but green teas have a little more subtle flavor. Milk would overpower it.”

 

Jensen lifted his mug, blowing on it and taking a small sip. Thankfully the milk had cooled the tea enough. “Hm, you’re right. Its good, but it might be better without milk next time.”

 

Jared nodded and picked up his mug, large hands wrapping around it to feel its warmth. He blew on it, and stirred it occasionally. “You can try mine when it’s cooled, see what you think. If you like it better that way, there’s enough left for you to pour a fresh cup.”

 

“Thanks.” Jensen went back to eyeing his plate of apple crumble. He picked up his spoon and started breaking it apart, spreading it around the plate and blowing on it. He picked up a spoonful and started blowing on it more furiously before poking it with his tongue. When it seemed to have tested cool enough, he popped it in his mouth and chewed. He hummed happily and repeated the process, bringing his plate closer, so he could blow on the entire thing. “You’re awesome, this is awesome.”

 

Jared nodded and began doing the same to his, taking a few bites and smiling. “You’re welcome.” When he’d finished, he picked up his tea and took a small sip. He held it out to Jensen. “It’s cool now, want some?”

 

Jensen took the mug and blew on the edge out of habit before sipping it. The tea tasted a little bitter after the sweet apples. He took another sip, swishing it around in his mouth before swallowing. After another sip, he glanced up to find Jared watching him.

 

“You can keep it if it’s that good. I’ll pour more since I don’t mind it a little warmer.”

 

Jensen nodded, swallowing the current mouthful. “It is better without the milk. Thank you.”

 

“Thought you might like it.” Jared got up and dumped Jensen’s mug in the sink, rinsing it out and putting the remaining milk back in the fridge. He returned and poured a fresh mug of tea for himself, leaving it on the table for a few minutes.

 

He turned towards Jensen, pulling his legs up cross-legged. “Now, what do you want to learn?”

 

Jensen shrugged and set down his tea, turning and mirroring Jared, hands resting on his thighs.

 

“The basics, I guess. However you started. Can go from there.”

 

Jared nodded and folded his hands in his lap. “First thing you need to learn is how to focus your mind. Focus is very important. If your thoughts stray, it can throw a spell off. Close your eyes.”

 

Jensen shifted his hands to match Jared’s and rolled his shoulders, relaxing the muscles. He closed his eyes and waited.

 

Jared followed suit, and took a slow deep breath. As he let it out, he listened to Jensen fidgeting. “Breathe. Slowly in, slowly out. Let your thoughts float away and just be here in this room. In, out. Like meditation.”

 

“Was never good at being quiet. Too scatterbrained.” Jensen muttered, but he took a deep breath, letting it out in a quick rush. He could hear the smile in Jared’s voice.

 

“Ssssh. Slower. Breathe as slowly as you can until your heartbeat starts to slow down. Don’t think about anything but your breath.”

 

Jensen nodded and breathed in deeply, his exhale slower and more even.

 

Jared continued to speak with each breath, “Iiiin. And ouuut.” He could hear Jensen slowly starting to settle. “If it helps, imagine in your mind that you’re somewhere peaceful. What about a forest, with a creek along the path?”

 

Jensen began to visualize the forest—green trees and a softly trickling stream. “Yeah, I can see it. Can almost smell the pine and the water.”

 

“Good. You’re walking along, breathing in the fresh air, listening to the birds. No one else is there with you. Not unless you want them to be.”

 

“What about you?” Jensen asked. “I want you there.”

 

Jared smiled. “Okay, I’m walking along the creek with you. We come to a large rock overlooking the water and sit down to look. The air is a little cooler, but it feels nice. You might lean down to feel the cold water on your hands or stick your feet in. Whatever is comfortable to you. Just listen and breathe.”

 

He could hear Jensen sighing happily, his breathing even. He continued. “I’m sitting next to you, just as we are here. Can you see it?”

 

“Yeah. You’ve got a leaf in your hair. Must have gotten stuck when we walked under the trees by the path. I’d reach up and pull it gently from your hair.”

 

Jared breathed in sharply as he felt Jensen’s hands in his hair. He leaned forward, sighing as Jensen’s fingers soothed through his hair slowly, still breathing deeply.

 

“Come here,” Jensen said softly, and Jared opened his eyes to see Jensen beckoning to him, arms open.

 

Jared shifted up on his knees and crawled closer, settling in Jensen’s lap, long legs hanging over the edge of the couch. He leaned against Jensen’s chest, head settling on his shoulder. He closed his eyes again when Jensen began to stroke his hair again, fingers occasionally combing it back from his head. His nails scratched all the way back to the base of his skull, sending shivers down his spine.

 

“We should go for a walk like that for real some day.”

 

Jared barely heard him, drifting between consciousness and zoning out in bliss. He made a soft noise of agreement, nuzzling into Jensen’s neck, and smiled when Jensen kissed the top of his head.

 

 

*

 

They both woke up later, Jensen starting to shift uncomfortably from Jared’s weight on top of him. Jared lifted his head sleepily, blinking up at Jensen. Jensen smiled down at him and stretched his arms, back arching under Jared. He then curled his arms around Jared again, hugging him close, hands rubbing up and down his back. His gaze slowly drifted away. Jared followed his eyes, landing on the shelf full of books across the room.

 

“Sorry, didn’t get a chance to show you anything from them yet.”

 

Jensen shook his head, not letting go of Jared just yet. Though, he was really curious about the books. “Mind if I borrow a few? Can report back to you on what I learn.”

 

“Yeah, that’s fine. They’re all pretty informative. Just don’t try anything big.”

 

“Yes, sir, teach.” Jensen replied with a grin, though his hold on Jared didn’t relax in the least. “Though not just yet. Wanna hold you a little longer.”

 

Jared smiled up at him and nodded, settling down again and turning his head to kiss the side of Jensen’s neck. He had been enjoying curling up with Jensen, too.

 

*

 

When Jensen got home later that night, after they’d napped a little more, he spread out the books he’d borrowed from Jared. There was one on meditation that Jared insisted he take with him, some about herbs and plants with magical properties, one on beginner spell work and some others that he’d thought looked interesting. While Jared was covering the apple crumble and putting it in the fridge, he’d pulled out a thinner, ancient-looking book tucked in between the others. It looked worn, and inside the pages were yellowing. He started to flip through it, but tucked it in the middle of the stack when Jared peeked out to check on him. He hurried over and added one more book to the stack, on gods and cultural lore from Poland, where he said his family was from. He encouraged Jensen to choose his own pantheon of deities, but Jensen just smiled and said he’d love to learn about the ones Jared followed.

 

Now that he could look through it without Jared watching, he was starting to realize just how useful the book might be. The spells seemed pretty high level, maybe even dark magic. As he turned the pages slowly, he found what he was looking for: A resurrection ritual. Handwritten scribbles at the top warned him to read carefully, not to attempt alone. Jensen skimmed over it. It looked simple enough to him, but he probably should ask Jared about it later. Besides, he was tired, which seemed like a pretty bad time to try anything.

 

Jensen carried the books into his room and piled them up on his nightstand, the smaller book in the middle so he wouldn’t be tempted. He stripped down to his boxers and curled up in bed, wondering if maybe, just maybe, he could reunite his family. He wondered what it would cost.


	4. Chapter 4

When Jared woke up Friday afternoon, his first action was to roll over and check his phone for messages and missed calls. Sometimes no matter what kind of annoying ring tone he chose, he still slept like a rock. These days his missed messages weren’t his boss or family, so much as cute small talk or jokes in the form of cheesy texts from Jensen.

 

Jared unlocked his phone and was greeted by one new voicemail.

 

“I wanted to stop by last night, but work was hectic. Crashed soon as I got home. But hey, if you’re not working tonight, wanna come see where I work? Its karaoke night. I’m off at 6, shortly before it starts. Let me know!”

 

Jared grinned. He didn’t sing, and he didn’t know if Jensen could either, but he had been meaning to check the place out. He couldn’t say no to coffee. He sent off a text.

 

_Karaoke sounds fun, see you tonight!_

 

A message came back quickly. _Need a ride? I can pick you up. I swear I’ll drive safe this time._

 

Jared rolled his eyes. Despite realizing later that he'd enjoyed clinging to Jensen, the first motorcycle ride had still been terrifying. _Nah, I’m good with the bus, thanks._

 

 _See you in a few hours!_ Jensen replied.

Jared crawled out of bed and showered. Standing in front of the mirror in a towel, he started blowdrying his hair and frowned. He had no idea what to wear. He almost felt the need to do something different with his hair. It wasn’t like it was a date or something, or the first time they’d been out together, but really, it would be the first time they hung out in public. For some reason, Jared wanted to make a good impression. He grabbed his hairbrush and smoothed it through his hair, taming the waves as they dried.

 

Walking down the hall, he had even less clue what to wear. He just tended to wear whatever was comfortable. He wore old t-shirts to work and around the house, sweatpants, ratty jeans with holes. Jared dug in his closet for a newer pair of jeans without holes. After some clean boxers, he tugged on his pants and started searching for a shirt. After a good few minutes of staring at his closet, he grabbed a slightly newer t-shirt and went searching for some socks. It was a little small, but at least it was clean and less worn.

 

Now that he was dressed, he could relax. He opened the fridge, looking for something the snack on, to fill his stomach for the next few hours, where he could have something bigger to eat at the café. He pulled out some lettuce and other vegetables from the crisper drawer and starting chopping them up, and threw a piece of chicken in a pan, adding some sun-dried tomato seasoning and garlic and fresh ground pepper. Shit, he realized too late, maybe garlic wasn’t a good idea when he was meeting Jensen later tonight. Oh well. Bitter coffee would cover the taste.

 

While the chicken cooked, Jared turned on his radio app on his phone. The first thing that came on was Everywhere by Michelle Branch. The song started out slow, about happy dreams and longing. He smiled. It made him think of Jensen. Jensen made him feel not so alone anymore. Sometimes it felt almost too good to be true. They’d started out just friends, and maybe they were a little more now. There was something more between them, something unsaid that just made him sigh happily when he closed his eyes, hoping Jensen would be there when he opened them.

 

Jared diced up the chicken and added it to his salad, taking a seat at his small kitchen table. He frowned and scooted his chair back to dig for some salad dressing in the fridge. He dumped some balsamic on his salad and dug in.

 

*

 

A few hours later, Jared had curled up on the couch with a book, only to fall asleep and be awoken by his phone ringing. He brought it to his ear, eyes still closed. “Hello?” he answered groggily.

 

He could hear loud music and people talking in the background before a familiar voice spoke up. “Jared? Hey, you on the way?”

 

Jared looked down at his phone. The time was 6:30. “Shit. Shit. I fell asleep on the couch. Next bus isn’t til…7. I’m gonna be a while. I’m sorry.”

 

He could almost see Jensen grinning on the other end of the line. “What, really? Its only a ten minute drive. I’ll come get you. Hang on. Be right there.”

 

Before Jared could complain, Jensen had already hung up. Jared sighed and stretched, one leg dangling off the side of the couch. He got up and went to the bathroom, combed out his hair again, brushed his teeth. He pulled on his hoodie and was tying his shoes when there was a knock on the door. He patted his pockets and double-checked for his phone. Jared grabbed his keys and his wallet, then ran for the door. He opened it and found Jensen standing there with his helmet in one arm, other hand on his hip. “Thought you might have fallen asleep again.”

 

Jared shook his head and hurried to lock the door behind him, following Jensen outside. “Just a little tired. Looking forward to a good cup of coffee. You guys make GOOD coffee, right?”

 

Jensen chuckled as he climbed onto his bike, handing his helmet to Jared. “Well, I wouldn’t know since I don’t drink it, but the customers think so.” When Jensen started up the motorcycle, he spoke up again before Jared could interject. “And before you say anything, I wasn’t planning on this, so I don’t have my other helmet. Just shut up and wear it. I know how to drive. I’ll be fine.”

 

Jared rolled his eyes and buckled on the helmet, then wrapped his arms securely around Jensen’s waist, scooting close. He was glad Jensen couldn’t see his dopey smile as he felt Jensen’s body heat reach him. A short ride later, they pulled up to a small coffee shop. He could see a ton of people inside. It almost looked more like a club tonight with how busy it was. He could feel Jensen’s hand on his lower back as they walked inside, and it made him smile even wider.

 

As they walked in, the first thing that hit him was the music from someone up on stage. Then the smell of the coffee wafted over him. He felt his mouth watering and made a beeline for the counter. He made a noise of complaint when Jensen grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards the far side of the counter where orders were usually picked up. When Jared looked over at him confused, Jensen grinned.

 

“You’re not waiting in line. I got it. What do you want?”

 

Jensen shuffled around behind the counter while Jared looked up at the menu. “Uh… white mocha?”

 

“Come on, this is on me. Whatever you want. Go nuts.”

 

Jared narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

 

“Seriously. You want… extra chocolate? Anything?”

 

Jared frowned and stared up at the menu again. “Got raspberry syrup?”

 

“Now you’re talking. Raspberry mocha, coming up. Get us a table. I’ll be right out.”

 

Jensen disappeared behind the espresso machines, leaving Jared to navigate the crowd. The previous performer had left, soft music now playing over the speakers. He found a small table near the stage and looked around while he waited. It was a nice place. Contemporary, friendly colors. Built to attract young people, and it had. The place was full, and he was surprised he’d found a good seat.

 

“Jared?” An unfamiliar voice asked him. Jared looked up, and found a man holding out a large mug of coffee towards him. After taking it, the man smiled at him and extended a hand. “Josh. I’m Jensen’s brother. Glad to see you made it. He talks about you all the time, you know. Think he really likes you.”

 

Jared coughed, having taken a sip of his coffee after they shook hands. When he could breathe again, he blinked up at Josh. Josh just chuckled and stepped back. “Jensen said to tell you he’d be back soon. He just needed to get something.” Josh then returned behind the counter.

 

Jared sipped at his coffee slowly and returned to staring around the coffee shop, starting to feel a little anxious at being here alone with all these people. He hadn’t expected it to be so busy. He spent a lot of time by himself and really wasn’t used to crowds. He kept his head down, focusing on the warmth of the coffee. It really was good. Some of the best coffee he’d had in a while. He was just having trouble enjoying it while he waited for Jensen.

 

The coffee shop suddenly went quiet, and he heard some rustling up on the small stage. Jared felt his heart flutter. Jensen was taking a seat on a stool and adjusting the mic height. Apparently Jensen COULD sing. He leaned down and picked up a guitar from a case by his feet. Jared set his coffee down, and it was a good thing, because Jensen looked up then, searching the crowd and when he found Jared, he flashed a blinding smile. He heard some cheering from around him. Clearly this was a regular thing.

 

The lights lowered and Jensen began to strum on his guitar. Jared smiled and laced his fingers in front of him on the table. He couldn’t help his face flushing when Jensen began to sing, staring right at him. His expression was somber as he focused on the lyrics. Jared felt a shudder run down his spine as Jensen’s low voice formed the words of the song into music. The song was upbeat and fun, but what blew him away was Jensen’s goddamn singing voice. He just… there were no words to describe how much it made him smile. He found himself swaying to the beat, and wondering just how Jensen knew what kind of music he liked.

 

 _Roll the dice, point the gun_  
Make it fast, have some fun  
Light a match, throw it in  
Let the trouble begin

 

 _Take a leap, take a shot_  
Give me all that you got  
Live it up down the road  
Let's get on with the show!

 

 _And I can't give you up_  
No it's never enough  
No it's never enough, enough

_Yeah yeah yeah_

 

 _Ooooo, come on baby, take a chance on me_  
I'm what you need  
So come on baby  
Come on and take a chance on me **(1)**

 

By the end of the song, Jensen was smiling and had gotten off the stool, now rocking out and moving back and forth across the stage. After one last strum on his guitar, he gave a small bow and knelt down to put his guitar back in its case. He hopped down from the stage and sat opposite Jared. “So, what do you think of the place?”

 

Jared just stared at him, speechless and flustered. He was thinking about anything but the rest of the coffee shop. He sputtered out. “You never sang around me before! And… you… I loved the song choice. I used to listen to Michelle Branch all the time in high school.”

 

Jensen just laughed low as he tucked the guitar case under his chair. “I’m observant. I saw her CDs on your shelf. And, I wanted the first time you heard me sing to be here. A good venue where I’d do my best.”

 

Jared looked simply in disbelief. “You’re amazing. How could you hide this from me?”

 

Jensen’s face couldn’t seem to decide between flustered and proud. It finally settled on cocky as he leaned forward, grinning at Jared. “I’ll sing for you whenever you want. Give me some time, I’ll learn a few more of her songs.”

 

Jared looked excited like a little kid at the thought. He then seemed to remember his coffee, and took a big sip. “Your brother brought me my coffee. He seems nice. Coffee’s great, too. You’re just… great. You’re more talented than you think, Jensen.”

 

Jensen looked a little embarrassed for a moment before his usual cocky grin returned. “Aw, shucks. Glad you’re having fun. You want to stick around for a while, or get out of here with me? Can get you a to-go cup.”

 

Jared looked down at his coffee, and then back at Jensen, giving him a shy but grateful smile. “Crowds make me nervous. Let’s get out of here, just the two of us.” Then he picked up his mug and took another long sip, until it was almost gone. “Nah, I’m done with my coffee. Let’s go.”

 

He stood up and Jensen stood with him, their hands easily meeting and clasping together. From behind them, Josh shouted from the counter. “Don’t forget to use protection, little bro!”

 

Jared spun and stared, but Jensen pulled him along, flipping his brother the finger before the door shut behind them. “Asshole,” he muttered as they reached Jensen’s motorcycle.

 

“Aww, he’s just looking out for you.”

 

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Like I need my family giving me relationship advice.”

 

Before Jared could reply, he found himself pushed against the motorcycle, and Jensen’s lips on his. Both of Jensen’s hands cupped his face, holding the kiss before his hands ran down Jared’s sides, fingers kneading at his hips. When Jared flung his arms around Jensen’s neck, Jensen’s hands experimentally moved around to his lower back, creeping lower. Jared pulled away for a moment, nodding, his words low and breathed out in a sigh. “It’s okay.”

 

He felt Jensen’s hands spreading over his ass, squeezing firmly and pressing their hips together. A tense whine was muffled in Jared’s throat. Jensen rocked against him, nibbling at his lower lip and tugging, and this caused an even more desperate sound to come from his partner. He was starting to feel the effects his actions were having on Jared. He reluctantly pulled away, smiling devilishly when Jared leaned in again, the look on his pretty face absolutely delicious. He looked even better than the time they’d kissed drunk. But this time they were sober, and Jensen wanted to see what other kinds of pleasure-fueled expressions Jared might make. “Not here. Come on, my place is close.”

 

Without being asked, Jared took the helmet from Jensen and buckled it, climbing on behind him. He laid his hand over where Jared’s were clasped around him, then started the bike, engine revving as he kicked off. In five minute’s time, they were pulling up in front of a small townhouse complex. Jensen had barely stopped when Jared pulled off his helmet, carrying it and linking his other hand with Jensen’s, following him to the door.

 

Jensen unlocked the door, their shoes were kicked off, and the helmet was left by the door in a matter of seconds. Jensen dropped his leather jacket, and Jared peeled off his sweatshirt over his head. Jensen took a moment to look him up and down grinning at the sight of his too-small tshirt riding up to show off a bit of his stomach. Jensen teased a few fingers along the line of hair trailing up from Jared’s jeans, before Jared was attaching himself at the mouth again. Jensen backed up until they tumbled onto the couch. Jared climbed onto his lap, straddling him, their mouths barely separating. His arms draped around Jensen’s shoulders while they kissed feverishly.

 

Jensen’s hands roamed up and down his chest, down to run his thumbs along the line of bared skin above his pants. Jared shivered and rocked his hips forward, bringing a low moan from each of them, the friction between them driving them mad. Jensen ran his hands up Jared’s back, fingers digging into his hair to grab a handful. He pulled while his other hand traced up along Jared’s lean neck to his jaw, tipping his head to the side. Jared tilted his head back, the kiss breaking. He was panting shallowly, muscles tensed and on edge. His hips jerked every few seconds, searching for more sweet friction. Jensen kissed along his throat, opening his mouth to suck greedily under Jared’s jaw. His tongue flickered out to taste the sweat starting to gather there, tracing up to Jared’s throat before kissing back down again.

 

Meanwhile Jared was starting to mutter softly, almost hesitantly. “Please… ah… please…” He was getting so close, body tense and shaking from grinding against Jensen, all their heated kissing and teasing. He almost didn’t want to ask, nervous to speak up when his mind was all hazy with lust.

 

Jensen nipped at his ear lobe, breath hot, voice rumbling. “What? Tell me what you need, Jared…”

 

Jared quivered as he attempted to slow his squirming enough that he could focus on speaking, but it was near impossible with Jensen’s hands running all over him, wet mouth and tongue on his neck. He whimpered softly. “I need… touch me, please…”

 

Jensen’s hand left his hair, both hands moving down immediately to tug on the front of his jeans, working at the button. “Here?”

 

Jared nodded, too hot and flustered to admit just how much he wanted to feel good, how he wanted it to be Jensen that made him come.

 

Jensen unbuttoned his fly and tugged down the zipper, one hand reaching in to curl around his cock. Jensen’s thumb rubbed over the tip before his fist closed around it, spreading the precum oozing out. He lifted his hand away and brought it to his mouth, licking his palm before wrapping it around Jared’s cock again, pumping evenly.

 

After a few strokes, Jared was starting to whimper and moan again. Jensen let go and quickly started undoing his own pants, pulling out his own hard cock. He grabbed Jared’s hand and pushed it towards his mouth. “Lick. Your hands are bigger than mine. Help me out.”

 

Jared frowned, curious, but moistened his palm anyway. Jensen then pressed their cocks together, first wrapping Jared’s hand around them, then his own, squeezing down and starting to move their hands together.

 

Jared moaned low and bucked his hips up, thrusting with the pace of their hands. He clung to Jensen with his other arm, wrapped tightly around his neck. He put his head down, their foreheads touching, eyes shut tight.

 

“Look,” Jensen said gruffly, and he opened his eyes again, looking down at where both their dicks were enveloped in the tight heat of their hands together. It was so incredibly hot and felt so good, the moist friction as the veins and ridges along each of their cocks rubbed back and forth against each other.

 

Jared held on as he moaned loudly, feeling the fire in his gut building up suddenly until he finally spilled over their hands. Jensen gasped and doubled the pace, causing Jared to whimper from the stimulation and warmth as Jensen’s come mixed with his. Jensen let out a shuddering moan as he worked himself until he was sure they were both dry, his grip finally loosening then. Their hands didn’t part yet, both breathing heavily, eyes finally closing for a moment. Jared tilted his head to the side, letting it slide down onto Jensen’s shoulder, soft happy sighs escaping as he tried to catch his breath.

 

“Good?” Jensen asked through the post-orgasmic haze. He was starting to pull his hand away, lifting it to look at how their come stretched between his fingers.

 

“Yeah,” Jared breathed, glancing up to see Jensen playing with their come, touching his forefinger and thumb together, then spreading them apart to watch the sticky line of come. He chuckled softly and straightened up, grabbing Jensen’s wrist.

 

“Whaaaat?” Jensen grinned at him, then froze as Jared leaned forward, drawing one finger into his mouth, sucking as he pulled away, then slowly sucking and licking at each finger in turn until Jensen’s hand was clean. Then he licked his own fingers clean, looking down to see if any had gotten on their clothes before he started to clean up. Some had indeed splashed on Jared’s shirt, a bit on their jeans as well.

 

Jensen raised an eye brow at him. “Can throw our clothes in the washer. If you don’t mind walking around in your undies.”

 

“You kidding me?” Jared pouted, and at first Jensen thought he was complaining about a lack of clothes. “It’s cold in here.”

 

Jensen rolled his eyes. “I’ll get you a blanket.”

 

Jared sighed and looked like he was considering it before he crawled off Jensen’s lap and flopped beside him on the couch. “Bring me the blanket, then the clothes come off.”

 

Jensen grumbled and pulled himself up off the couch, dropping his jeans on the way and folding them over his arm. He peeled off his shirt and wandered off down the hall, tossing everything in the wash. He returned with a large fleece blanket and held it out.

 

Jared slowly reached out and snatched the blanket, tossing it next to him. He stared up at Jensen pointedly, until he’d turned around with a sigh. “Come on, I’ve seen your dick.”

 

There was rustling of clothing, and then the flap of the blanket being shaken out. When he peeked over his shoulder, Jared was wrapped up in the blanket from the neck down, holding out his shirt and pants. “Yeah, but you haven’t seen everything.”

 

Jensen shook his head and took the clothing, putting it in the wash with his and starting the water. He could tell Jared was fighting the urge not to stare, eyes flicking towards him and then away, then down at the floor, then at the windows, the walls, the TV. Jensen turned on the TV and knelt down to pick up a stack of video games next to an ancient Nintendo 64. “Wanna play a game or something ‘til our clothes are washed?”

 

Jared blinked at the old game console. “Wow, I haven’t seen one of those in ages. Used to play it as a kid.” He reached for the stack of games as Jensen moved closer, shuffling through the solid plastic cartridges.

 

“Sue me, I like the classics. Don’t see the point in upgrading when the old stuff isn’t broken.”

 

“No, you’re right,” Jared agreed as he pointed at the Super Smash Brothers cartridge. “I miss it. Mine broke ages ago. My sister put pennies in the slot when she was a baby. Dad was so mad.”

 

Jensen popped the game in the console and started it up. He smiled at the sound of the game’s theme music playing. “I kept mine in my room. Saved up my birthday money, did chores around the house for cash, ‘til I bought it myself. Wouldn’t let anyone touch it.” He brought over two controllers, and set it to two player. “So, who’d you play as?” he asked as he clicked on Fox.

 

Jared shrugged. “We didn’t have this, actually. Mostly played Mario 64 and then the system broke.” He scrolled through the characters and finally selected Samus.

 

“You know Samus is a chick, right?” Jensen teased as the game started.

 

“So? She looks cool.” Jared tested out each of the attacks until he’d found the charge attack, dodging until his charge beam was full. He suddenly let the attack go and Fox was knocked clear off the stage.

 

“Hey! Thought you said you never played this! Another round!” Jensen complained.

 

“I never said that. Just that we didn’t own it. May have played it a bit with friends.” Jared grinned at him before the next round started.

 

Midway through, Jensen got up to move their clothes to the dryer. Jared’s blanket had slid down around his waist by the time Jensen was starting to yawn. When they finally set the controllers down, Jared took the chance to pull his blanket closer.

 

“Clothes are probably done.” Jensen got up to stretch, letting out another wide yawn.

 

“You look tired.” Jared commented, “I should get home. Forget you don’t stay up near as late as me. I’d be up for a few more hours before I get tired. Don’t want to keep you up.”

 

Jensen didn’t want to agree. He looked disappointed. “Some of us have normal nine-to-five jobs that require getting up early. Can’t seem to force myself to stay up even on the weekends. I’ll take you home.”

 

Jared nodded and pulled his blanket tighter while Jensen left to get their clothes. He didn’t want to leave either. Their different work schedules sucked. With Jensen working mornings, and Jared working in the evening, Jared had sometimes only been awake for a few hours when Jensen was getting home from work.

 

Jared accepted his warm, clean clothes when Jensen handed them to him and let the blanket drop as he tugged his jeans on. He pulled his shirt over his head and smiled, curling his arms around himself to enjoy the warmth as long as he could. He was starting to get a little tired too, honestly, but it was probably just the residual fuzzy feelings after coming. “See you again soon?” He said as he got up, heading for the door and pulling on his hoodie, then putting on his shoes.

 

“Of course.” Jensen smiled as he dressed himself, and grabbed his keys and the motorcycle helmets, glad he could bring both this time.

 

When they pulled up to Jared’s apartment, Jared handed his borrowed helmet back. Jensen turned off his bike, leaving both helmets on the seat as he walked with Jared up to the door. He took Jared’s hand as he reached to unlock the door, catching his attention. Jared turned back, and blinked as Jensen pressed a kiss to his mouth before he could speak. “Call me when you wake up?”

 

“Yeah, I will,” Jared replied, smiling when Jensen had pulled away. “Goodnight, Jensen.”

 

“Night, Jared.” Jensen waved as he walked away and started up his motorcycle, driving away.

 

As Jensen turned down the road, he caught sight of something by the bushes. He glanced over in time to see a hazy shape of a girl, or rather, a spirit. She watched as Jensen’s motorcycle disappeared in the distance, then looked up at Jared and smiled before running off and disappearing through the building. Jared blinked. He knew her. She looked familiar.

 

Her name had been Mackenzie. Jensen’s sister was still in town. He had to tell Jensen. He was surprised the poor girl hadn’t passed onto the next life by now, but it made sense with the violent nature of the death, and how she hadn’t gotten to say goodbye to her family. There was a lot of tension and unfinished business there.

 

Jared didn’t want to call now and get Jensen all wound up before bed. He’d call after they’d both rested, and then maybe he and Jensen could track her down and put her soul to rest.

 

 

**(1)** 'Take A Chance On Me' by Michelle Branch


	5. Chapter 5

Jared didn’t end up sleeping much. He stayed up until the sun was starting to shine again, digging through his books. He sat on the floor with his books spread around him, many open to various rituals for putting spirits to rest, examples from different cultures. He wanted to give Jensen a lot of options, so that they could help his sister pass on. They could write a special ritual for her together.

 

Some time around six or seven AM, Jared crawled up onto the couch, flipping through another book, and then he was out, book open on his chest.

 

When he woke again, it was three in the afternoon. He stretched and groaned, turning over to look for his phone. The book fell to the floor. He glanced down at all his research on the floor and knew he had to tell Jensen now. He deserved to have closure.

 

He dialed Jensen’s number and lay back while he listened to it ringing. When the call was answered, Jared could hear music in the background. “Are you listening to ‘Loud Music’? I really got you hooked, huh?”

 

Jensen laughed and turned down his music. “What? It’s good. She likes Led Zeppelin. Makes her good in my books. And yes, it’s your fault I’ve been listening to Michelle Branch all day.”

 

Jared grinned. “So, hey. Can you come over? I saw something last night, and you’re going to want to hear about it. Want to show you some things in my books.”

 

“Yeah, I was just having some lunch. Thirty minutes, tops.”

 

“Good, see you soon!”

 

Jared hung up and scrambled off the couch, carefully stepping between his books. He started cooking some breakfast for himself while he waited for Jensen, starting his coffee maker while the stove heated up. By the time Jensen arrived, Jared was finishing eating, and the whole place smelled of bacon, eggs, and toast, and most importantly, coffee.

 

Jared opened the door, coffee mug in hand. He left the door open and rushed back to kneel down in the middle of his books, leaving Jensen to shut the door. Jensen frowned as he followed Jared into the room. “You’re wearing the same clothes from last night. What’s so important that you couldn’t kiss me before showing me all this… what is this?” He gestured to the books and papers all over the floor.

 

Jared looked up, some mix of apologetic and frazzled, maybe a bit hopeful. He slowly stood, setting his mug on the coffee table. He ran his hands through his sleep-messy hair and tied it back with an elastic from his wrist in some attempt to clean himself up. He grasped Jensen’s arms, running down to find his hands, squeezing gently and drawing him closer. “I saw your sister. Her spirit is still here. I was up most of the night looking for a fitting ritual to put her to rest. Where’s your family from? I can find something—”

 

“You saw her last night and didn’t tell me?” Jensen interrupted him, pulling out of Jared’s grasp.

 

Jared frowned. “It was when you were leaving my place. She was standing there, watching you go. I just wanted to do some research, and didn’t want you to be up all night worrying about her.”

 

“You should have told me right away.” Jensen pressed a palm over his forehead, then ran it over his face, rubbing at his eyes with thumb and index finger. When he pulled his hand away, his eyes looked red and damp. He was biting down on his lip. “How’d she look? Happy?”

 

Jared nodded once, hands folding in front of him, unsure how to comfort Jensen. “She was watching you, then she looked up at me and smiled. Like maybe she was happy, about us. I think she’s glad you’re happy. Then she ran off.”

 

“Good.” Jensen gave a small smile, then glanced down at his books, blinking until his blurry vision cleared. Jared slowly pulled Jensen closer into his arms. Jensen began to relax into him, while Jared rubbed at his back gently.

 

“We’ll find her again, Jensen. We’ll help her move on. She shouldn’t stay here, trapped in this life. I want to help.”

 

Jensen nodded and squeezed Jared before pulling away, stepping back towards the door. “Just need some time. I’ll look into my family and stuff, get back to you tonight.”

 

Jared smiled and followed him to the door. He laid a hand on Jensen’s shoulder, and when he looked back, he kissed Jensen’s cheek before opening the door for him. “Drive safe, okay? I’ll be here if you want to talk.”

 

“Thanks.” Jensen left without another word, pulling on his helmet. He lifted his visor to rub at his eyes again. He really missed her, and it was killing him that her ghost had been around all this time. Before he met Jared, he didn’t really even believe in ghosts. If she was still here, maybe he could get her back. His parents would be so happy to see her again.

 

*

 

At home, Jensen found the old book with the resurrection spell and flipped open to the page. He needed a few herbs and candles, and a little luck from the gods. He had to call upon an old god to oversee the process, to lend a bit of magic.

 

A quick trip to the grocery store gave him the herbs and candles. The herbs had been expensive, from the little organic section by the pharmacy, but it was worth it if he could have Mackenzie back.

 

Jensen flipped through the book again. As it had been from Jared’s collection, it referenced a lot of Polish pagan deities. Must be where his family was from. He skimmed through a list of gods and goddesses relevant to Polish mythology.

 

“Czarnobog, god of the dead. That’ll work.” He flipped back to the ritual page and began making notes, inserting the god’s name and his sister’s name in the blanks. The spell was to be done at night, at the grave of the deceased. If Jared said he’d be waiting at home, then he probably wasn’t working. The graveyard would be clear. He’d do it tonight.

 

*

 

Jensen pulled up in front of the old boneyard that night, backpack with the book and herbs and candles over his shoulder. He scaled the fence like he had done so many times before, ever since his sister’s death. Once on the other side, he glanced at his phone and turned it to silent. Jared had texted him once to see how he was doing, but he ignored it. He tucked his phone away and walked down the rows of stone markers until he found his sister’s. The periwinkle flowers were blooming beautifully, but they wouldn’t be needed much longer.

 

He set down his backpack and began arranging candles in front of the grave. He opened the book and rested it against her grave stone, looking up at her name etched there before he started to light the candles. “It’s gonna be okay, Mac. See you soon.”

 

Then he bowed his head, reading the ancient spell softly, sprinkling the herbs around the candles. At last he lifted his head, speaking more clearly. “Czarnobog, God of the Dead, I call upon you to aid my spell.”

 

He waited, not daring to look away. A strong wind rushed through the graveyard, the candles flickering. When the wind died down, only one candle stayed lit. He frowned and looked around. A low crunching noise sounded behind him, like large footsteps in the dirt, but he couldn’t see anyone. He turned back to the candle. The flame flickered once more and then puffed out.

 

“Hello?”

 

No one answered. Then, a cold icy wind hit him in the back. It went right through him, rushed into him, filled his body. He could feel darkness flowing through his veins. He gasped as his vision began to blur. Then the cold feeling was gone, and he had slumped forward, breathing shallowly, but out cold. His head hit the base of Mackenzie’s grave stone.

 

*

 

Jared sighed as he poured some coffee into a thermos and stuffed it in his bag before pulling his hoodie on. His boss had called to ask him to come in and clean up a mess some teenagers had left at the graveyard. Just a few hours work, and he’d be paid overtime for it, so it wasn’t that bad. He’d just hoped to see Jensen again tonight.

 

Jared had tried texting him a couple times, and finally called. He left a voicemail, saying that he had to work, but to call back later if he needed to talk. Jared was getting worried, with Jensen not returning his messages, but he had work to do. Jensen probably just needed some space to think after finding out that his sister was still around, haunting the town. Probably a little unnerving to think that she might have been hovering around, watching him do who knows what.

 

From a distance, Jared could see a motorcycle parked in front of the gates. As he got closer, he recognized it as Jensen’s. He sighed and unlocked the gate. He knew where Jensen would be, probably visiting his sister again.

 

Jared weaved through the graves, taking a direct path towards where Mackenzie Ackles lay. As it came into view, he broke into a sprint. Jensen was there. He lay sprawled in front of the grave.

 

Jared dropped his bag and he knelt by Jensen’s side, shaking his shoulder. “Jensen! Hey, Jen, wake up! Jensen?” He rolled Jensen over, pushing the spent candles out of the way, leaning in to listen for Jensen’s heart and breathing. He was still alive, but his breathing sounded faint. He had a cut on his forehead from where he'd hit the grave stone, which Jared dabbed at with his shirt sleeve.

 

Jared frowned and looked up at candles and herbs scattered around. A book lay open against the stone, and he cursed under his breath. It was one of his books that he had forgotten about, an old, dark spell book. He had found it in the back of a second-hand store and gotten curious, but it was bad news. Every one of the spells came with a price, and if not done right, could bring harm to the spellcaster. Jensen was dealing in spellwork way beyond his skill level and hadn’t known what he was doing. Jared gathered up the books and candles, stuffing them in his bag. Glancing up once more, he saw a large crack at the top of the gravestone. Whoever Jensen had summoned had left a mess. They didn’t want to be bothered.

 

Jared leaned down and pulled Jensen up into a sitting position, propping him up against the grave. He needed to get Jensen home, where he could mix up something to heal him and figure out what had happened, but he couldn’t possibly carry Jensen’s weight all the way home. He got up and ran for the gardening shed, and brought back his wagon, tossing all the dirt and seedlings out of it. He maneuvered Jensen onto it, tucking his arms in, but couldn’t do much about his legs dangling over the end. He sighed and pulled Jensen up, so he was more or less sitting in the wagon, and propped him up with their backpacks. This way Jensen’s legs didn’t hang out quite so much.

 

He grunted as he pulled the wagon, straining to pull Jensen’s weight. He would have to start working out. Jared paused to lock the gate, and glanced at Jensen’s motorcycle parked outside. Tomorrow, while Jensen was resting, maybe he could figure out how to get the bike into neutral and wheel it home.

 

Jared was sweating as he pulled Jensen out of the wagon and onto his back, struggling to carry him up the stairs to his apartment. He carried Jensen inside and laid him down on his bed, pulling his shoes and outer clothing off. He covered Jensen in a blanket and then hurried into the kitchen, putting a pot of water on the stove and adding some peppermint, ginger, and a few other herbs for spiritual healing. As the water began to boil, the herbs steeped in the water. He poured it into a bowl and brought it back to his room, setting it on the nightstand. Giving the water a few minutes to cool and steep, he went to get a cloth.

 

Jensen was breathing heavily and sweating as Jared rolled down the blankets to his waist. He dipped the cloth into the herbal mixture and began to wipe Jensen’s face, down his neck and chest. He pulled away and dug a vial of pure peppermint oil from his bag, and dabbed some on Jensen’s chest. His breathing began to ease. Jared sighed and propped a few pillows behind Jensen’s head before pulling out the book Jensen had been using.

 

It was a resurrection spell, and by the looks of the notes scribbled, Jensen had called upon a pretty nasty god to help. Czarnobog may be the god of the dead, which was probably why Jensen had called him, but he was also a god of evil, chaos and night. Not the type you called for personal matters. It was lucky Jensen just had a fever. Czarnobog could have killed him easily. Jensen had been messing with something way above his skill level, and dark magic, at that. Trying to bring back the dead never ended well.

 

Every thirty minutes, Jared dabbed more of the oil, and the herbs on Jensen’s skin, and by morning his fever had broken. He was breathing more easily. Jared smiled and laid down next to Jensen, one arm draped over his chest. He could feel Jensen’s heart beating under his fingers. Jensen would be okay. He just needed to rest now.


	6. Chapter 6

A few hours later, he could feel Jensen stirring. Jared shifted up on his elbow and pressed the back of his hand to Jensen’s forehead. He pulled it away and leaned in, resting his cheek against Jensen’s. Yeah, the fever had long passed, and the clock on the nightstand told him that it was mid morning. He curled his arm around Jensen’s chest, squeezing him and sighed softly.

 

“Jared?”

 

Jared glanced up and smiled. Jensen blinked sleepily at him. “How’d I get here… and why do I reek of mint?”

 

Jared sat up, but his hand didn’t leave Jensen, resting on his arm. “Do you remember being at the graveyard last night?”

 

Jensen frowned. He sort of remembered going there, being desperate. And then everything went black. “Yeah. Something went wrong…”

 

Jared shook his head. “You shouldn’t have done that spell. Jensen, you could have gotten hurt way worse than you did. I was worried. When I saw the book, figured out that you were summoning Czarnobog, I was scared that you might not wake up. I know you miss your sister, but you can’t bring her back from the dead. That never works out well.”

 

Jensen looked away, almost like he was ashamed. “Just… wanted to see her. Thought maybe with the little things you’d taught me, I could bring her back.” He felt Jared taking his hand, and squeezed back, looking at him again.

 

Jared leaned over him then, releasing his grip and resting his hands next to Jensen’s shoulders. “I was really worried… that you were hurt worse. Sat by your side most of the night dabbing warm water on your face. That’s why the mint and herbs and stuff.” He glanced at the bowl on the nightstand and Jensen followed his gaze. “Stuff for spiritual healing and to keep your fever down.”

 

Jensen stared up at Jared, at the concern in his eyes. “You were up all night, watching over me?”

 

Jared bit down on his lip, smiling shyly. It sounded a lot sillier now—that he cared so much to have carried Jensen all the way here and laid him down, healing him all night. “Dragged you here in my wagon and carried you up to my room, too,” He mumbled, looking away and lifting a hand to brush his hair back behind his ear.

 

Jensen felt warmth swelling in his chest and his eyes tearing up. He wasn’t sure what to say. That he was grateful, but he couldn’t seem to get even that to come out. He reached up to touch Jared’s cheek, running it up into his hair to cover his hand. Jared blinked and dropped his hand, gaze shifting back to Jensen.

 

Jensen’s hand slid through Jared’s hair around the back of his neck, and pulled him down gently until their lips met. Jared smiled, hands shifting to rest on Jensen’s chest. Their mouths moved together, slowly at first, but when Jensen dug his hands into Jared’s hair, curling until he had a good enough grip to pull Jared on top of him, their kisses became more heated. Jared now straddled him, gasping softly into the delicious kisses. His hips moved on their own, pressing forward and grinding against Jensen until he heard the other man groan.

 

Jensen leaned up, one hand moving to Jared’s shoulder, pushing and turning to try and switch their positions, but he winced, laying back again. Jared broke away from the kiss, frowning and running his hands up along the sides of Jensen’s face. “You need to stay down and rest. It’s okay, I’ll take care of you.”

 

His hands then ran down Jensen’s chest, pulling the blanket down and off. He settled between Jensen’s knees, hands hesitantly resting at the top of his boxer shorts, glancing up at him.

 

Jensen shuddered at the cooler air suddenly on his skin and looked down. If he hadn’t been hard enough before, he sure was now. “You don’t have to…”

 

Jared shook his head and drew in a deep breath before pulling Jensen’s underwear down his thighs, enough to free his cock. He looked up, brushing his hair back with one hand while the other curled around the base of Jensen’s cock. “I want to. Almost losing you made me realize how much you mean to me, how much I care about you.” He gave the tip a slow lick before tilting his head to mouth along the shaft, sucking gently while his tongue flicked out to give every inch much needed attention.

 

Jensen gasped. He wanted to say that he had really started to care about Jared, too. Knowing Jared had been taking care of him while he was sick made his heart almost explode from all the love directed towards him, but then Jared’s mouth was on his dick, and his thought process flew out the window. He shifted and propped up the pillows behind him more, so he could lean up and get a better view.

 

Jared’s eyes narrowed as he took the tip into his mouth, sucking and running his tongue around the ridge just under the head. He glanced up when he felt Jensen’s hands in his hair, brushing it back from his face and into a ponytail. Once Jensen had a good grip, Jared went down slowly, breathing out to relax his throat, so that he wouldn’t gag as much when Jensen’s cock hit the back of his throat. He held it there for a few seconds, his tongue rubbing along the underside before pulling up to gasp in fresh air. He bobbed his head more quickly then, smiling around a mouthful of cock when he heard Jensen moaning low.

 

“Jesus, Jared. Done this before?”

 

“Actually, no.” Jared said as he pulled off again for a breath, turning to lick and suck at the nerves under the head. “Porn is more educational than you might think. The amateur stuff, anyway, that isn’t done for money.”

 

Jensen shrugged and waited until Jared was licking at the top of his cock before giving an experimental push. Jared groaned and went down willingly, enveloping a good two-thirds of his cock. He hummed low in his throat, eyes closing as Jensen tightened his grip on his hair, pushing him down again, more forcefully each time. Jared clamped his mouth down on each up stroke, sucking hard and drawing low moans out of Jensen.

 

At last, Jensen pulled him off and up, hands running down to grasp Jared’s waist and pulling him closer. Jared settled down on his thighs, and Jensen guided Jared’s hands to his shoulders. Jared draped his arms around Jensen’s neck, leaning in to kiss and nuzzle against it. “Why’d you stop me?”

 

Jensen was panting softly as he rested his hands at Jared’s sides. “Was getting close.” When Jared pulled back to look at him, Jensen clarified, “Want to be inside you.” He pushed his hands up under Jared’s t-shirt, and would have stopped if Jared said no, but Jared quickly pulled his shirt off over his head. He leaned in to kiss Jensen before crawling off the bed and starting to get rid of his jeans. His socks and underwear came off next.

 

Jensen’s eyes widened, and he kicked his boxers off the rest of the way before Jared crawled up on his lap again.

 

“Of course I want you. I mean, I’ve never done this before, so I don’t know how I’ll be, but I want to know what it feels like, with you.” Jared looked a little flustered.

 

“If your blowjobs are any indication of what porn has taught you, I’m sure you’ll do just fine.” Jensen grinned up at him before glancing towards the bedside table. “Lube?”

 

Jared nodded and leaned over to grab some lube and condoms from the top drawer. Jensen smiled and set the condom next to him while he poured some lube onto his fingers, liberally coating two. He nudged Jared’s thighs apart further. “Up on your knees and scoot closer.”

 

Jared blushed as he shifted closer, raising himself up on his knees and leaning against Jensen, forearms resting on his shoulders. He could feel his cock twitching where it was pressed against Jensen’s chest.

 

“Good. Stay still.”

 

Jared nodded once more, his gaze shifting as if he could listen or see what Jensen was doing behind him. Then Jensen slid two slippery fingers along the crack of his ass, and he closed his eyes against the cold lubricant. One finger pressed against his hole, rubbing the lube around before gently starting to press in. The finger kept moving until he felt Jensen’s palm resting against the curve of his backside. It shifted to rub at his insides, before pulling out, and back in slowly. “This okay? More?”

 

Jared wasn’t quite sure what to think of this yet. He’d never actually tried putting anything inside himself, just stuck to jerking off to porn. It felt a little… uncomfortable. It was supposed to feel good, and he supposed it would, eventually. “Yeah, keep going.”

 

Jensen turned and kissed his cheek, free hand rubbing along his lower back. “Let me know if it hurts.” Then he pulled out his finger and added a little more lube before starting to ease two into him. As he pushed in all the way, he could reach deeper, and he curled his fingers forward, searching out a bundle of nerves. He knew he found it when Jared jerked on his lap, body tensing while he let out a surprised gasp. He rewarded Jared with a few more kisses along his cheek and neck while his fingers retreated for a moment, then pushing in again to rub over the same area. “Feel that? This is what makes it feel really good.”

 

Jared began to shudder and cling tighter to him as Jensen kept pushing his fingers in and out, rubbing over his prostate. Soft moans began to escalate, and he pushed back towards the pleasure. Jensen dripped a little more lube onto his hand as he carefully slid a third finger in with the other two. At first Jared tensed, but he pushed through the slight burn, eager to feel the pleasure again. When Jensen pulled his fingers away, Jared whined and tilted his head to nip at Jensen’s neck.

 

Jensen chuckled and reached for the condom, foil wrapper crinkling as he opened it. He rolled it on, and slicked up his cock with another generous coating of lube, curling his hand around the base with his other hand resting on Jared’s hip. “Ready for me? Gonna be a lot bigger than my fingers.”

 

Jared shifted back a little until he could feel Jensen’s cock pressing against his ass and pushed experimentally, letting the tip breach him ever so slightly. Yeah, it was definitely big. “I can take it. I want you, Jensen.” He lifted his hands to Jensen’s face again and kissed him deeply. He pushed down as Jensen guided himself inside, and soon he was past the thick head, sliding down the entire length.

 

Jensen wiped his hand on the sheets before wrapping his arms around Jared, resisting the urge to buck his hips hard into the tight heat enveloping him. Jared was gasping and shuddering as he sunk all the way to the base, breaking away from the kiss to pant, open-mouthed, little noises of surprised pleasure coming from him.

 

When he’d settled on Jensen’s lap, he rested there for a moment, marveling in how it felt to be so full, to have Jensen so deep inside him. If he shifted just the right way, the pressure against his prostate was so immense that he had to jerk away. He whimpered as he adjusted to the feel of being stretched open. When he could speak again, his voice almost didn’t sound like his own. His heartbeat was rushing in his ears. “So… I can’t describe it… good.”

 

Jensen leaned back to watch Jared, eyes traveling the length of his torso, down his lean thighs, taut with the effort to hold still. He glanced back up again, along Jared’s throat and up to his eyes. Glazed over with lust, his hazel eyes looked like a freaking rainbow. “You’re beautiful.”

 

Jared’s faced flushed an even brighter red and he blinked, broken from his hazy trance. He shook his head quickly and pressed his mouth over Jensen’s before he could give any more compliments, and lifted his body up, starting an even rhythm. He moaned into Jensen’s mouth as he shifted the angle slightly each time, loving how he could control the pace and the pressure against his prostate.

 

Jensen’s hands ran up and down his back, into his hair where he could hold Jared closer. Their heads tilted slightly, and Jared flicked his tongue out to lick into Jensen’s mouth while he bobbed up and down faster. He moaned loudly as Jensen pulled on his hair and held him tighter, hips starting to buck up to meet his downward thrusts. Each thrust upwards caught him by surprise, as Jensen drove his cock in deeper.

 

He could feel a familiar pleasure starting to build in his gut, only intensified from the internal stimulation added, and he pushed himself harder and faster on Jensen’s cock, impaling himself over and over until the pleasure suddenly overwhelmed him. He tipped his head back at the last second, body arching as he moaned loudly. He heard Jensen curse and continue to thrust up into him, could swear he felt, through the roar of his orgasm, Jensen’s nails raking down his back. He clung to Jensen until they had both finished, and then slowly pulled off. Jensen pulled off the condom and tied it, dropping it in the waste bin next to the side table.

 

When Jensen shifted, Jared frowned at the sticky feeling between them. He reached for the first article of clothing he could find and wiped the come off both of them, then flopped against Jensen’s chest until his breathing had relaxed. He smiled and closed his eyes for a moment as he felt Jensen stroking his hair.

 

“I love you,” he heard faintly, and his eyes shot open, glancing up to find Jensen smiling serenely down at him. It made him melt, and he smiled, resting his head down on Jensen’s chest again.

 

“Love you, too,” he said, softly, as he closed his eyes once more. Jensen’s arms tightened around him and he sighed happily.


	7. Chapter 7

When Jensen woke up, he felt a warm weight on his chest. He breathed in deeply before opening his eyes. He could still smell peppermint and ginger, but it was relaxing, reassuring. It meant he was alive. He’d been a fool to try that spell last night, but Jared had brought him back.

 

He wrapped his arms around Jared, smiling as he looked down to see the taller man drooling on his chest. He deserved to sleep. He brushed the ends of Jared’s hair off his neck before rubbing gently, massaging his neck and shoulders. The muscles there were incredibly tense and he couldn’t imagine the effort it must have taken to haul Jensen up here.

 

Jared groaned in his sleep and then his eyelids fluttered. He peeked up at Jensen and gave him a sleepy smile, lifting his head to scoot closer. Then he frowned at the moisture on his cheek and glanced down, cringing and wiping away the drool with his arm. “Ugh, sorry. You must think I’m totally gross.” He pulled away and went to sit up, but Jensen pulled him back down, both arms holding him tight.

 

“Nah, I think it was cute. Drooling means you’re totally relaxed and happy. Slept well?”

 

Jared frowned in confusion and sighed, resting against Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen returned to rubbing at his shoulders, causing Jared to melt against him. Jensen leaned up and pushed Jared to lay flat on his back, leaning over him to rub along his collarbone and down his chest, pausing as he came to the tattoo centered on his abdomen.

 

“Been meaning to ask. What’s this represent?”

 

He traced his fingers around the trees, or maybe they were flames, growing around the skull, then tapping each of the birds flying overhead.

 

Jared shrugged. “It was something I drew in high school. See how the trees are growing out of the skull? Reincarnation. Birth from death. And the birds, they’re watching over the dead. Crows are said to be messengers from the underworld. Felt like it suited me, with my abilities.”

 

Jensen nodded, looking over the image once more. He then poked his finger into the skull’s nasal cavity, which lay over top of Jared’s bellybutton. Jared squirmed and swatted him away, causing Jensen to chuckle.

 

Jensen sat up and stretched, groaning at how stiff his muscles were. Jared frowned and sat up, leaning close to look at him. “How are you feeling?”

 

Jensen rolled his shoulders and breathed deeply. “Not too bad. Much better. Kinda achy and foggy, but a lot better than I was earlier.” He looked at the clock. It was early evening. “Slept the day away, so had lots of time to heal.” He turned to Jared, hands coming to cup his face. “Thank you. Really. You saved me.” Then he kissed Jared gently, with as much feeling as he could to show Jared just how grateful he was.

 

Jared’s face was flushed bright red when he pulled away, and Jensen grinned at him. Jared smiled, doing that same flustered thing he always did, playing with his hair and looking down. “Its… you’re welcome. Glad I got there in time.”

 

Jensen gathered Jared into his arms, squeezing him tightly. Jared squirmed at first, but he finally settled and wrapped his arms around Jensen, too.

 

Jensen smirked and let him go. “What do you say we make some breakfast?”

 

Jared nodded and crawled out of bed, pulling on some sweatpants before heading out towards the kitchen. “I’m making waffles!” he shouted as he dashed down the hall.

 

*

 

After breakfast, they both sat on the living room floor, Jared showing him different rituals from around the world for settling the dead.

 

“My mom’s side was from Germany, a few generations back. Think that’s the strongest ethnicity in my family.”

 

Jared nodded and pulled another book closer. “Ah, Germans followed some Norse mythology back in the day. They believed very strongly in reincarnation. The cycle of life and death and rebirth.” He pointed out a large tree surrounded by symbols. “Yggdrasil, the tree of life, held everything together.”

 

Jensen leaned closer to skim over the page. “Huh.”

 

Jared looked up. “I mean, of course you don’t have to do anything related to the old myths. We can do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

 

Jensen smiled, and shrugged. “I’m trying to be open about this. It’s just… different. My family was the type that went to church every Sunday, said grace. Mac had a traditional Christian service. I’m not super religious anymore, but it’d feel like the right thing to do; to include her beliefs in this.”

 

“Yeah, of course. Do you have anything of hers, or can you think of some things she really liked? They’d help draw out her spirit.”

 

“Cinnamon. She loved cinnamon on everything. Whenever mom baked, Mac asked for cinnamon in the recipe. Cookies, muffins, anything.”

 

Jared closed the book and began piling up the ones he’d been reading. He stood up and crossed the room to the kitchen, pulling down a small jar of cinnamon sticks. He returned to the living room with them.

 

Jensen stood up and took the jar of cinnamon, sniffing it, and smiled. “Smells just like her.”

 

*

 

That night, they walked the graveyard, Jared towing the wagon behind them. Jensen smiled when his motorcycle came into view and jogged ahead to run a hand over the shiny black paint. When Jared opened the gate, he wheeled his bike inside and along the path.

 

Jared gave him an apologetic frown. “Sorry I couldn’t bring your bike back last night.”

 

Jensen shook his head and parked her on the path near Mackenzie’s grave. “Nah, it’s alright. I know you had more important things to worry about.”

 

Jared put his wagon back in the shed before joining Jensen. He began pulling some candles out of his backpack, handing them and a lighter to Jensen. “Here. I’m just here to guide you. This is for your sister.”

 

Jensen took the candles and knelt down, lighting three and setting them at the base of the grave stone, his head down as he whispered his thanks to whatever gods had kept her spirit safe all these years. He placed the cinnamon sticks around the candles, along with a small cross, and closed his eyes.

 

Behind him, a young girl approached. She knelt down, picked up one of the cinnamon sticks and smiled as she held it to her chest.

 

“Jensen, she’s here,” Jared said softly.

 

Jensen opened his eyes and looked around him. “Where?”

 

Jared stepped closer and touched his shoulder, and Jensen blinked as she came into view. He could see her smiling face, just as she had been before she died. Tears began to well up in his eyes.

 

“Mac… I miss you so much. We all miss you.” He started. “It wasn’t fair, how you went, but you need to let go. Go to Heaven where you’ll be happy.”

 

Mackenzie frowned and looked skyward, then back at him. She wanted to stay here and watch over him, and Josh, and their parents.

 

Jensen shook his head. “You can’t stay here. I promise, Heaven will be better than you ever imagined. All the cinnamon you can eat.”

 

Mackenzie smiled and leaned in, kissing him on the cheek. Then she stepped back and waved.

 

“Goodbye, Mackenzie.” Jensen smiled sadly, as he waved back, and then she was fading into a ball of light, her soul swirling away up into the night sky. He watched her disappear, then looked at her grave marker again. The crack had been fixed, good as new. He took one of the cinnamon sticks with him, tucking it into his jacket pocket.

 

He wiped away the tears that had begun to roll down his face with the back of his hand, and slowly stood. Jared smiled and laced his fingers with Jensen’s as they walked back to the gate. “That was really nice. She looked happy.”

 

“Yeah, she will be.” Jensen sighed as he wheeled his motorcycle back outside the gate. They walked it back to Jared’s apartment, neither of them in a hurry to go anywhere fast.

 

Jared brought down a bottle of cinnamon whiskey and cracked it open, offering a glass to Jensen. Sniffing it, he smiled and held it skyward before taking a sip. They both knew what they were drinking to. Jared brought the bottle with him, and they both settled on the couch, Jensen laying his head down on Jared’s lap. Jared rested a hand over Jensen’s heart, smiling down at him as they drank in silence.


	8. Chapter 8

Jared woke with a start. It was the same dream again—the one with the golden flower. The woman running through the forest. She seemed so familiar, but he never saw her face.

 

Jensen grumbled next to him, Jared's movements having woken him. “What is it, bad dream?”

 

Jared sighed and laid down, snuggling close to Jensen’s side. “Not… bad, just weird. I’ve had this recurring dream since I was a kid. Pretty much as long as I can remember.”

 

“Want to talk about it?” Jensen turned on his side, lifting a hand to stroke Jared’s hair soothingly.

 

Jared shrugged. “I don’t know if it’ll help. I keep seeing this woman in a forest. She sets down a magic circle with candles, around a beautiful flower. The flower looks almost like it’s on fire, its glowing so brightly. She digs up the flower and when she tries to leave, this dark shape runs after her. And then it ends.”

 

Jensen frowned. “Flower sounds magical, too. Ever asked your family about it?”

 

“Nah, my dad was never into that stuff. He’d just tell me to go back to sleep. He never knew about what I could do, what I could see. Never told him.”

 

“Maybe it’s time you told him. Maybe you got it from your mom.”

 

Jared yawned. “Yeah, maybe. He never let me go near her stuff after she died. Like there was something he didn’t want us to see. I’ll call him in the morning. See if he knew anything.”

 

Jensen nodded and they slowly drifted off back to sleep again.

 

*

 

Jared called his father in the morning, and they left after lunch. After a few hour’s drive, they were pulling up on Jensen’s motorcycle in front of the old family house. Megan ran out to greet them and nearly tackled Jared as he was taking off his helmet. “You’re gonna get in so much trouble for riding on a motorcycle when Dad finds out. Who’s this?”

 

Jared rolled his eyes and hugged her tightly before setting his helmet down. “Oh, hush, I’m old enough to drink, I can ride a motorcycle. This is Jensen. He’s my…” He glanced back at Jensen, unsure what to call them. They’d slept together, but were they together-together?

 

“Boyfriend,” Jensen supplied with a grin, holding out a hand in greeting after he’d set their helmets on the seat.

 

Megan’s eyes widened, and she shook his hand vigorously. When she pulled away, she glared up at Jared. “He’s gorgeous! Why do you get all the hot guys?”

 

Jared snickered and ruffled her hair. “And this is my little sister Megan. Come on, let’s go inside and see Dad.”

 

Jensen grinned as he followed behind them. Megan dashed off into the kitchen, yelling excitedly. “Jared rode here on a motorcycle and he brought his boyfriiieennd! What’s for dinner?”

 

The kitchen smelled of homemade spaghetti sauce and garlic bread. Jensen groaned at the smell. “Wow, that smells amazing. Now I can see how Jared ended up such a good cook!”

 

“We’re having spaghetti and garlic bread, Megan. Go cut up some veggies for the salad.” Jared’s father smiled when he saw his son and pulled him in for a tight hug. Then he turned to Jensen and nodded approvingly.

 

“Jensen.” Jensen held out a hand, but Gerald was having none of that.

 

“Oh nonsense, if my son likes you, you’re family. Come here!” Before Jensen could back away, he was gathered up in a hug, and he blinked up at the tall man. Height must run in the family, too.

 

“I’m Gerald. Call me Jerry.” He said as he patted Jensen on the shoulder before returning to the stove, stirring the pasta sauce. “Make yourself at home. Set the table, Jared?”

 

“Sure,” Jared started pulling plates out of the cupboard and set them on the table. Jensen followed him with the silverware after Jared showed him where the drawer was. Cups and napkins were laid out afterwards, and by that time, Gerald was bringing a large pot of spaghetti over to the table. “Dig in.”

 

Gerald brought over the sauce and the garlic bread, and they all sat down to eat. Jensen quickly devoured his. “You’re an amazing cook, Jerry. Thank you for dinner.”

 

“Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for coming.” Gerald leaned back in his chair, turning his attention to Jared. “Now, what was it you wanted to talk about? You said it was something important on the phone.”

 

Megan piped up from her end of the table. “Can I be excused?”

 

“Put your plate in the dishwasher and you can go,” Jerry replied.

 

Megan rinsed her plate and then dashed upstairs, presumably not wanting to hear about the boring adult discussion.

 

Jared pushed his plate away, resting his arms on the edge of the table while he thought over how to start. “Did Mom ever mention anything about a glowing flower?”

 

Gerald’s cheerful expression dropped immediately. He sighed. Jared was starting to wonder if his dad knew where this was going. “Why do you ask?”

 

Jared frowned. “I’ve been having these weird dreams, about a woman being chased after she picked a beautiful flower. And, there’s something else I’ve been meaning to tell you… about me.”

 

Gerald’s hands tensed into nervous fists, but he nodded for Jared to continue. Jensen slid one hand across to cover Jared’s, squeezing comfortingly.

 

Jared breathed in deeply. “Gonna sound… odd, but I can see ghosts, you know, dead people. And I’ve always had kind of a natural talent for magical things. Spells. I know you don’t like talking about Mom, but was she into anything like that? You don’t really tell me about her.”

 

His father leaned forward, lips pressed into a thin line. He really hoped he’d never have to talk about this. He’d told Jared she’d gone out one night and never returned, possibly a kidnapping. “Your mother, Sharon, she was into some dark things. Stuff I didn’t understand. She had it, too, a gift for magic. I never told you, because I didn’t want you getting into that.

 

“The night she disappeared, she told me about a glowing flower, a fire flower, was what she called it. She said that if she found it, it would enhance her abilities, maybe give her psychic powers or something along those lines. She told me where she was going and that it was dangerous. To come looking for her if she didn’t come back by midnight.

 

“So, when she didn’t come back, I went out to find her. I found her in the woods, off the path. She was pale and cold, like the life had been sucked out of her. I don’t know what got to her.”

 

“A demon,” Jared interrupted, “I’ve seen it, in my dreams. It must have been her that I saw. The woman was running away from a dark shape. I never saw her face, but it must have been her.” Now he was breathing deeply, starting to look panicked. He’d been having these dreams since shortly after she disappeared. He hadn’t known it, but he had been dreaming of the night his mother died.

 

Gerald nodded solemnly. “I brought her back and buried her in her garden. She used to have a beautiful vegetable garden. Loads of flowers and herbs, too. It was her pride and joy. Thought it’d be fitting. And in her bag, I found a little box, with a golden flower. It was glowing faintly and starting to wilt. I planted it on her grave. The garden’s grown over by now, but I think the flower is still there.”

 

Jared perked up, glancing towards the window. He stood up from his chair.

 

“I’m sorry I never told you what really happened to her. I just didn’t want you to follow the same fate. Get lost in a search for power.”

 

Jared was already going for the sliding glass door to the backyard. “Can I see it?” He pushed open the door without waiting, peering out into the dark yard. “If that flower truly could enhance people’s abilities, maybe it gives those without them abilities, too.”

 

Jensen followed close behind him, both padding out into the grass in their socks. Gerald hurried ahead of them, pointing to a corner of the yard that was completely overgrown by grass and weeds and bushes. He carefully parted the tall grass and gave them a small smile. Jared reached for Jensen’s hand as he peeked between the bushes that he’d ignored all these years, and there, close to the fence, was a brightly shimmering yellow flower. He bit down on his lower lip, squeezing Jensen’s hand tightly.

 

Jensen leaned close to see, eyes widening. He had to look away for a moment and shielded his eyes before taking another look. “Wow.”

 

Jared nodded slowly, silent. Here was his mom’s grave. His mother, who he barely remembered. She’d been gone shortly after he was born. He was more in shock, but he knew when the news sank in, the tears would fall and he would mourn. He released Jensen’s hand as he pushed his way through the weeds and sat down cross-legged in front of the flower.

 

He could feel a soft, gentle energy radiating from the flower. It felt like the love of a mother, something he had never really known, but he was sure this is what it would have felt like. He felt something drip onto his arm, and glanced down, then raised a hand to rub at his face. He hadn’t even felt the tears start to drip down his face. It had been a while since he’d thought about her, but he used to wonder about her as a child. He wondered if the police stopped looking for her. Now that he knew she had died, at least he had some closure.

 

His mother and this flower had been watching over him all through his childhood. All his time spent playing outside in this very yard, he had been affected by this flower. It had given him his abilities, he was sure of that now. He breathed in deeply, and as he let out a shuddering breath, his vision blurred with more tears.

 

The glow of the flower intensified, and he had to close his eyes. He could feel the glow on his face, a soft, comforting warmth. It felt like hot cocoa and a blanket on a cold day, or the embrace of a loved one. The warm feeling washed over his face like sunlight, focusing on his forehead like a kiss. Then it was gone.

 

When Jared opened his eyes, he blinked and rubbed away tears that had now stopped. The glow from the flower was gathering in the center of the bloom, and then it lifted away in a ball of light. It drifted upwards into the night and disappeared. As it did, Jared felt like a big weight had been lifted off his chest. She was gone, but at least now he knew why.

 

The flower was now a beautiful pure white, similar to a lily. Its power was gone, now that the soul that had fed it had ascended. He’d grown up. She didn’t need to watch over him any longer.

 

Jared smiled, and got to his feet, taking Jensen’s hand to help him step over the bushes. He let go for a moment, turning to his father. “Thank you,” he said as they embraced. Gerald hugged him tightly. As Jared pulled away, he added. “Before you start worrying, I use my ability for good. I use it to help put lost souls to rest. It’s why I started working in that graveyard across town.”

 

Gerald smiled, and the trio turned to head back into the house. “I’m glad to hear that.” He shut the door behind them and put the leftover spaghetti into a container, about to put it in the fridge. “Will you two be staying the night?”

 

Jared shook his head, looking towards Jensen, then back to his father. “Nah, Jensen works early tomorrow. We should go before it gets late. Thanks for dinner.”

 

Gerald nodded, and then held out the leftover container. “In that case, take the leftovers with you. Late night snack, or lunch for one of you. Come back soon?”

 

“Of course, Dad.” Jared smiled, and they shared one more hug, before Jensen leaned in for a goodbye hug as well.

 

“It was great meeting you,” Jensen added as they walked to the door, pulling on their shoes and coats.

 

“You as well, Jensen.” Gerald followed them to the door, waving as they walked out. “Take care of my son. If you don’t, well… just take care of him, you hear?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Jensen saluted before he and Jared put on their helmets and started the drive back home.

 

Jared rested his head down on Jensen’s shoulder, arms around him with the leftover container tucked between them. He smiled and sighed softly. He felt warm and happy—peaceful.

 

Jensen’s helmet knocked against his gently and he lifted his visor to listen.

 

“Not falling asleep, are you? You’re not as fidgety as usual,” Jensen asked.

 

Jared tightened his grip and shook his head. “No, just happy.”

 

Jensen turned his attention back to the road. “Good. Hang on, ‘cause we’ve got a long drive ahead of us.”

 

 


End file.
